Why Some Employees Are Jacked Up

The title of this blog would surely get me fired if I were the HR person in a large corporation.  It's not politically correct.  And God help us all if we are actually honest in the work place.  But, lucky for me, I don't work in a large corporation so I can be totally honest with my blog readers. Let me say ahead of time, if this blogs offends you in any way, please just ignore it and try to find the nugget within it that can help you be a better leader.  

One thing I know for sure, there are a lot of corporate trainers out there, a lot of different cultures, a lot of training seminars, and a lot of personal viewpoints and biases.  Don't get me wrong there are many, many very professional, knowledgeable people out there who are passionate about helping you be the best you can be.  We are human beings though and can't help but have a few biases.  Unfortunately, some of you have learned a few things along the way that was presented as gospel and was really one person's viewpoint.  Much like this blog is my viewpoint.  I do try to weave in statistics and resources to validate my viewpoint but at the end of the day, you have to live with yourself and find what works for you.  Enough of the soap box.

So, here is my viewpoint as to why some employees are jacked up.  

Feedback.  Incorrect feedback.  Feedback given because of one person's viewpoint.  Feedback provided that caused confusion, fear, and was basically an attack on the individual's personality and character and had nothing to do with their work performance.  

• I know employees that have been told by their leaders that they laugh too much at work - they are too happy and not businesslike "enough."

• I know employees that have been told they are too attractive.  They weren't dressing inappropriately, weren't flirtatious - but the fact they are so attractive is career limiting.  

• I know employees that have been told they shouldn't be so polite at work.  Leave the manners at home.

The list goes on.  It's sad really.  


After 20 years of hearing feedback like this.  It's no wonder by the time you get them, they are no longer very receptive to feedback. 

The LESSON

Let's keep the feedback focused on work performance.  Let's make it valuable, important, and focused.  Let's make sure our feedback isn't based on our own biases.  And if it is, present it as such (example:  "This may not bother other people but it is a big pet peeve of mine.  Could you please not approach me until I've had my first cup of coffee, unless it's an emergency?").  Let's limit our feedback to those things are are important and will truly help the person be successful.  

Yes, It Is Just As Important To Celebrate Success As It Is To Hold People Accountable

I strongly believe in accountability.

But who doesn't love a great party!?!

It seems the work place is either continually focused on what needs fixed or continually focused on what everyone is doing great.  As is the case with all things, balance is a good thing.  

If you want to reinforce what people are doing right - celebrate successes!


This doesn't mean put a cake in the break room and send an email out telling everyone to help themselves.  That is NOT a celebration.  That's junk food in the break room.  And oh, by the way, that sugar high will last a max of an hour so anticipate people searching for more sugar soon.  


To celebrate, you have to make an effort.  Of course, that effort will depend on the magnitude of the celebration.  Don't worry, I'm not suggesting you should "celebrate" every time someone comes to work on time.  However, I do think we all need to spend a little more time acknowledging our "wins" and a little less time criticizing (either outwardly or inwardly).  


Bottom line - you get more of what you focus on.  Celebrate the successes and watch people work harder to attain more success.  There is just something about feeling appreciated and valuable.  Celebrating is one way we can demonstrate our heartfelt appreciation.  


Need some other creative ways to recognize employees?  Try this book. I've used it for years and love, love, love it!

It's True, Some Employees Just Don't Want to Hear Your Feedback

Some leaders put a lot of pressure on themselves to be able to "coach" all employees to success.  The reality is all employees are not receptive to coaching and/or feedback.  Like the old saying goes, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him (or her) drink.  Or how about, it takes two to tango (not sure that one applies but oh well).  


Unless you are running some underground child labor camp (and I hope you get caught if you are), I'm going to assume you are dealing with an adult.  Then again, why would you be reading a leadership blog if you were leading an underground child labor camp?  Anyway, if you have read any of my other blog posts you know I'm a firm believer in providing timely and direct feedback.  That being said, there are some employees that aren't ready to hear the feedback provided (and sadly they may never be ready).  They either believe you don't know what you are talking about, don't want to admit their own deficiencies, and/or can't hear what you are saying in the spirit in which it is intended (kinda like when the student is ready the teacher will appear).  

But how will you know this is the case?  Well, first of all make sure you are clearly communicating.  Ask them to verbalize their interpretation of the feedback provided.  Next, see if their behavior changes.  This won't be as easy as it should be because they are likely to modify their behavior in your presence.  You'll need to do some digging and follow up with others on this one - customers, people attending the same meetings, your peers, etc.


If the change occurs - good for you, maybe you have successfully coached another employee and can go home feeling good about yourself.  If not and if the negative behavior is affecting their ability (or the team's ability) to be successful, it's time to start the formal disciplinary process and visit your HR person.  Keep in mind, this is not for those behaviors that just irritate you (i.e. nose picking, talking too softly, etc.) or are career limiting (meaning they will never be promoted until they get it under control).  This is intended for those behaviors that are impacting their ability to be successful in their current role.  So, consider the option - as much as I want to believe everyone can be successful.  They have to want to be successful in the first place.  

So, Who Is Really Leading Your Team?

Here's the deal - Somebody is leading your team.  It's human nature really.  In any group, even kids on a playground, a leader emerges.  It may be the bully or it may be the "smart kid" or it may be the "athlete" but a leader generally emerges.  It may be the designated leader or it may be someone else entirely.  And it could even be a collaborative effort.  


Let's fast forward from the playground to your office.  If you aren't leading, someone else is.  Again, it may be the bully, it may be the Union plant chair, it may be the most negative person in your group, it may be the most "entitled" person in your group, or hey, it might be you.  


It would be a good idea to find out who is really the leader.  I mean, who is the person who doesn't necessarily have the title but everyone listens to.  And if it's not you, are you okay with the person that is leading the team (maybe they are a potential successor and/or a very positive influence)?  If not, it's time for you to get some help.  Talk to your HR person, do some research (this blog is a good place to start), and ask some questions.  Just remember, someone is leading your team.  If you choose not to, someone else will step up to the task.  

What Do Employees Really Want?

"I give you a paycheck.  What more do you want?"

Well, that's one way to approach leadership and employee morale, albeit maybe not the best.  And it might even work for those employees that no other employers want or who don't have the confidence to look elsewhere.  But if we are talking about the employees you don't want to lose, how about we try a few different alternatives?


The answer to the question in the heading is "it depends."  Unfortunately, there is not a one size fits all approach to keeping good employees.  That's where you need to pay attention and ask a few questions.  All people are different.  Assuming their basic monetary needs are being met, the rest of what drives them and/or keeps them depends on what stage in life they currently are in and what motivates them (i.e. family time, play time, more in their 401K, learning opportunities, or a bigger title).  Believe me when I say "more money is not the be all, end all to keeping employees."


Alternative #1
Show people on a daily basis that they are valued, respected, and heard.  


"How do I do this?" you ask.


Tell them you appreciate how hard they worked on their project.  Put your cell phone down when they call and make eye contact with them.  Don't interrupt them when they speak to you.  Tell them they are an important part of the team. Think about how it would feel if you were valued, respected, and heard and demonstrate those behaviors.  


Alternative #2
Ask them what inspires and motivates them and then do everything in your power to provide opportunities for them.


Alternative #3
Treat them like grown ups with a brain.  


There is nothing more demoralizing than to have a college education and then be told to sort pencils for the day.   This is not motivating.  It's a waste of your company's money, the employee's talent, and what's the point really?


Well, that's a start.  Really, don't all people just want to be appreciated?

Have We Forgotten Common Courtesy in the Workplace?

I'm amazed recently at a few organizations in which I have consulted in which common courtesy seems to have been thrown out the window.  I was in a meeting with a leader that was interrupted not once, not twice, but three times in less than 30 minutes.  

The first person apologized at least five times for interrupting yet continued to ask their questions of the person I was meeting with.  Was it a fire?  No.  Was it an urgent question with a deadline of less than an hour?  No.  Was this leader typically inaccessible and hard to catch?  No.  Although the first person that interrupted was apologetic their actions spoke volumes.  They obviously felt like their issue was more important than my scheduled meeting.  They also must have thought their time was more valuable than mine (only child maybe?).  And they evidently were not taught good manners growing up.  

I have to give the second person credit - they saw someone in the room and turned around and walked out.  

The third person didn't even pretend to be apologetic and just barged in and asked their questions.  Again, it wasn't urgent, the building was not on fire, and it could have easily waited for 30 minutes (maybe even 30 days).  

What has happened to professionalism and common courtesy?  Do we not think it applies at work?  Do you do this to your employees?  Come on people - respect, courtesy, and manners don't stop at the parking lot.  Let's not get so busy we think we don't have time to be humane.  

Culture Matters

I was talking to a friend of mine recently who has by all outside standards, a good job.  It pays well for the work performed, excellent benefit package, nice people, and although like most leadership jobs, it can drive a person crazy at times, overall, there really isn't much to complain about.  However, this person, who is an excellent employee, does not have any desire to stay with this employer.  No, this isn't your run of the mill Boomer or Gen Xer that is never satisfied with what they have.  This is a loyal employee, a person looking for their "forever home" so to speak.  I was intrigued so I asked more.


I asked "Hmmmm, why would you leave?"


"The culture.  The atmosphere.  The priorities of the leadership team. The priorities of the company."


Right,wrong, or indifferent, the leadership team of this organization demonstrated behaviors that were competitive, politically driven (instead of doing the right thing doing what was politically acceptable), and archaic (1950's approach).  This was the culture of the company.  It was the brand.  It's unfortunate this company will lose a very valuable employee because the good employees are confident enough to go someplace where they will be valued and respected.  

What culture are you driving in your department and organization? 

Is it a culture that cares about it's people and wants to see them happy and enjoying their work?  Or is it a culture of fear, politics, and cut-throat behaviors because the only way to get ahead is by tearing others down? 


If you want the best employees, your culture has to represent an environment where those employees can thrive.  


Culture does matter.  

Taking Small Steps to Become More Adaptable to Change

Change is not the exception anymore, it is a fact of life - especially given our economy and business environment.  That being said, change is still as scary as it ever was.  Some people are more adaptable to change than others but most people seem to like routines.  In this post I'm including a few simple steps you can take to help yourself and your team members become more adaptable to change in the workplace.


1.  Change normal routines such as the time of your staff meeting, what time you come in the office, when you respond to emails and voicemails, taking the stairs instead of the elevators.  Some people have such defined routines they know exactly what they are having for lunch each day.  
2.  Have a team contest and have each person volunteer what they did different in the past week during the staff meeting.  Have a prize for whoever is voted the "Greatest Change Initiator."
3.  Take a different route to work - use different streets.
4.  Park in a different location.  
5.  Celebrate team successes in adapting to change.
6.  Openly discuss how change feels and why we resist it. 
7.  Find some great change quotes and post them within your work area.  Better yet, encourage your team to find some good quotes and put them up to help inspire the team.  
8.  Have a frank discussion regarding what things could change in your department to make you even better.  This will get people thinking of the positive influence of change.  
9.  Discuss times in history where a change effort made a significant positive influence on our history.  
10.  I love the quote by Gandi - "Be the Change You want to see in the World." It starts with you, the leader.  Be the change you want to see in your team.  Get that accomplished and then you can take on the world : ).


Mari

Leadership is a Journey

Although this blog and many others like it are full of information regarding how to be a better leader, the reality is, leadership is a journey.  Like life, your leadership experience will be your journey, uniquely yours and it will not mirror anyone else.  You can read tips and tools that may help you along your journey (much like a map) but this is your journey, your experience, and it's your responsibility to learn and grow, and experience your unique journey.  

This may sound cliche but in a way it gives you a bit of freedom to explore and experience in the way that works best for you.  

If you are a new leader, you are just beginning your journey.  If you have managed the same 10 people for the past 15 years, you are in a different place than the person with 15 years experience that has dealt with acquisitions, buy outs, turnover, and complicated employee issues.  Regardless of where you are on the journey, there is opportunity to learn, grow, and be a better leader.  To a certain extent you get to pick the side roads and how fast your car goes on your journey.  You probably don't get to pick the random animals that run across the street (i.e. obstacles) and car trouble you may endure.  

Each day, as you arise, remember, this is your leadership journey, and journey unique to your life and experiences.  And do your best to enjoy the journey.  

Inspirational Quotes on Change

When it comes to dealing with change, it is really more the rule these days than the exception.  Yet, people still struggle with change.  We are human after all - we like to know what to expect.  Change shakes things up and consequently often shakes us up in the process.  Here are a few quotes I like that might help you through your own personal and professional changes.  

Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.

John F. Kennedy

This explains change in the workplace: 
“All great changes are preceded by chaos.” -Deepak Chopra

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.

Maya Angelou

Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.” –Jim Rohn

We can change our lives. We can do, have, and be exactly what we wish.

Tony Robbins

And my personal favorite . . . .

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

Mahatma Gandhi

Some Important Thoughts on the Importance of Communication

Bad human communication leaves us less room to grow.

- Rowan D. Williams

“Don't use words too big for the subject. Don't say infinitely when you mean very; otherwise you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite.” 
― C.S. Lewis

“Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating.” 

― Charlie Kaufman

“Stephen Covey, in his book The 8th Habit, decribes a poll of 23,000 employees drawn from a number of companies and industries. He reports the poll's findings: 


* Only 37 percent said they have a clear understanding of what their organization is trying to achieve and why 
* Only one in five was enthusiastic about their team's and their organization's goals
* Only one in five said they had a clear "line of sight" between their tasks and their team's and organization's goals 
* Only 15 percent felt that their organization fully enables them to execute key goals 
* Only 20 percent fully trusted the organization they work for 


Then, Covey superimposes a very human metaphor over the statistics. He says, "If, say, a soccer team had these same scores, only 4 of the 11 players on the field would know which goal is theirs. Only 2 of the 11 would care. Only 2 of the 11 would know what position they play and know exactly what they are supposed to do. And all but 2 players would, in some way, be competing against their own team members rather than the opponent.” 
― Chip Heath, Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die

Some Quotes For You Leaders

Today is Good Friday, a holiday weekend, and the last weekend I get to spend with my daughter before she moves to Hawaii.  I know given the circumstances, my readers will give me grace for any lack of creativity and brevity that may occur over the next week.  Today, I give you all inspirational quotes that are as much for me as for each of you.


Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another." - Walter Elliott


He who gains a victory over other men is strong; but he who gains a victory over himself is all powerful. - Lao Tzu


It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer. - Albert Einstein

Have a wonderful Easter weekend with your families!

Mari

Is Your Idea of Motivation a Strong "Drop & Give Me 20!?"

I have to admit I have a tendency to see the best in others.  I like to believe that everyone is doing the best they can with what they know and believe.  That being said, "I've heard some very strange arguments regarding how to motivate employees."  Beyond the heading of "Drop and Give Me 20," here are just a few:

• "Why should I have to motivate them.  Nobody has to motivate me."
• "I'll show them motivation.  Does "Your fired" motivate you enough?"
• "I told them how much I appreciated them during their performance review.  How many times do I have to tell them anyway?"
• "Money is the only way to motivate my people and since my company won't let me give them more money, my hands are tied."
• "Motivate the team?  Are you kidding?  I'm too busy for that."
• "I don't have a budget for that.  Not happening."

If you gave me one of these responses and I were your HR person, it would take all my self control to not look at you quizzically and ask how you made it to a leadership role.  Being the professional I am however, and wanting to see the best in people I would come to the conclusion that you didn't know these were lame excuses.


Let me give you a bit of a news flash.  Here are a few things that are NOT motivating.

• Trying to control people who are grown ups (paying their own bills, making their own decisions). Unless you work for the US Military, this is not the way we generally treat free Americans.
• Micro-managing those that don't deserve it (it's okay to micro-manage low performers for a defined amount of time.
• Threats
• Belittling and Condescending tones (i.e. acting like you know it all).
• An unhappy and boring workplace.
• A workplace filled with gossip and political games.
• Telling your employees "good job" once a year.
• A boss that is too busy or uninterested in his/her employees to know or care about them.  
• Working for someone who obviously doesn't like their job or employer.
• Throwing money at all the aforementioned problems.

Motivating your team is not about time or money.  There are so many ways to motivate people. A kind word.  A project they are inspired by.  Having the opportunity to work with someone they respect.  Flexible schedules.  Showing that you care.  Asking about the family.  Creating a development plan.  Telling them the vision you have for them.  Tapping into a hidden talent.  Telecommuting.  Noticing when they seem to be having a bad day.  Encouragement.  Confidence in their success.  None of these cost money.  

And the bottom line . . . . if you are a leader, it's your responsibility.  

Work Doesn't Have to Be So Serious - Have You Laughed Today?

Yes, I know business is serious business (hah, get it?).  You have metrics to make, quotas to hit, competitors gobbling up your profit share, and the economy is wreaking havoc on all of it.  I know it's serious.  And I know your job is tough, stressful, and demanding.  But if you can't laugh during the day at something I have to ask, "What's the point in working so hard if you can't find time to enjoy yourself just a little bit?"  If you can't find any joy in what you do each day, why on earth would you continue to do it.  

I ask this question for two reasons.  The first is for you but then I have to also wonder if you are a "fun hater" at work.  Are your employees afraid to laugh when you are in the office?  Do you think if they are laughing then they can't possibly be working?  Seriously, are you a "fun hater?"  


Just because it's "work" doesn't have to mean you can't have fun.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating everyone put a clown suit or become stand up comedians at work (although that might be interesting).  I love it when both of my children are in the house visiting.  I love it because there is so much joy and laughter.  I can't wait to get home and not only because I want to see my kids but because being around that much happiness makes me happy.  


What if we could feel that way at work?  What if there was so much joy and laughter that it didn't even feel like work.  I have worked in intensive care units where doctors and nurses knew how to laugh in spite of the seriousness that revolved around them.  If people that care for the sick and dying know how to have fun at work, I can guess a lot of you don't have very good excuses for why you can't loosen up a little.  Did you know  laughter is a great stress reliever and has also been shown to heal.  Here is a great article regarding the amazing power of laughter.


http://www.nutritionresearchcenter.org/healthnews/can-laughing-your-ass-off-heal-you/


If laughter has the same physiological effect as exercise, it means we will thing more clearly, problem solve more effectively, have sharper mental clarity, and be more productive.  Hmmm, I'm thinking more laughter in he work place might be a good thing.  


Have you laughed today?

What Leading with Integrity Looks Like

There is a leader on my mind today that I respect greatly because their integrity never waivers.  One would think this would be the case with all leaders and unfortunately that isn't the case.  I could write three pages on integrity that you may or may not find interesting but let me just tell you what this person does and doesn't do (i.e. specific behaviors demonstrated) that make them a person of integrity.

• Not only would they not be involved in gossiping, they wouldn't allow others to do it in front of them.  
• Trustworthy without a doubt.  You could trust them with your life.
• Loyal to the employees as well as the company.
• Love their family immensely and it shows.
• Strive to do the right thing each and every moment of each and every day. 
• Says "I'm sorry" when they make a mistake, misunderstand a situation, or inadvertently cause hardship or pain on another.
• Has empathy for others.
• When they stand up in front of the team and make a commitment you can trust they are telling the truth. 
• Goal is to remove the barriers so the team can be successful.
• Consistently seeks to do the very best job they can do on a daily basis.
• Consistently strives to be the very best human being they can be on a daily basis.
• Gives freely - their time, their energy, their ideas, and their best effort. 
• Knows what they believe in and others know as well.
• Do not tolerate from the team members acts counter to working with integrity.  
• Wake up each day with a heart for doing the right thing - what is the best option for all parties involved.  Everyone may not agree with the decisions but they never doubt their motives.  

Is this how others would describe you?

How Do I Deal With My Negative Employee?

Negativity is a bit like a cancer.  It chips away and destroys not only the negative person but everyone around them.  Your negative employee is likely also the naysayer and resistor to change.  They might even like to say they aren't negative, just "realistic." So, how do you deal with this "cancer" in your team.

I guess the prescription would be dependent upon the impact this employee has on the team.  If they are a creative genius that sits in a cubicle with very little interaction with others, then I'd suggest coaching them and helping them to understand how career limiting their negativity can be.

If they are in a high profile position or a position that requires interaction with customers and/or other team members - that's a different story.  Of course, you want to start with coaching.  It always starts with a conversation and this is no different.  They may not understand the impact of their negativity on the team.  They may not understand the impact of their negativity on their future career potential.  They may not even realize that being "realistic" is perceived as negative.

I always say start with a simple conversation and then progress to documentation.  Give them a set period of time to improve.  Provide specific examples of demonstrating negativity.  When you see a demonstration of negativity don't wait and tell them about it two weeks later, find a way to point it out right away.  Of course, you don't want to point them out in front of other people but at the first opportunity when you can get them alone, tell them exactly what they did and why that would be considered as negative.  Ask them to come up with a "do over" and what could they have said in the particular situation that would be more positive.

Negativity is no different than any other performance issue.  If the behavior is inappropriate and impacting the team, it needs to be dealt with in the same way that you would handle absenteeism or insubordination - communication, documentation, and consequences.

Do You Truly Believe You Can Succeed?

I've had a difficult time focusing on writing my blog this weekend as I've been consumed by the National Championships Basketball game.  Living in Lawrence, KS and being a fan of KU, it has been a somewhat dramatic weekend.  So, today's blog post stems from interviews I've watched of the team members and coach and how we can apply their lessons in the business world.  


Nobody is more shocked that KU is playing in the National Championships than the KU fans.  All year they have been doubted by the media and this has been labeled as a "rebuilding year."  There were no expectations they would make it this far.  What's the secret?  Of course, they are a great team and have a great coach, there is no denying that.  When I analyze interviews however, I see two other qualities that differentiate them and could have a great deal to do with their success.  


They believe they are good.  It may sound arrogant but it doesn't come across that way.  They don't act like they are better than everyone else but they believe they are capable of winning.  There is a big difference between being arrogant and being confident.  They believe they can make the shots.  Over and over again you hear them say "we have confidence . . . " They take responsibility for their mistakes quickly and easily AND (critical component coming up) they learn from them and adjust accordingly.  


The other key component I see from the KU team is complete respect and confidence in their coach (i.e. leader).  They trust him, they protect him, and they have no problem making comments such as "That's all on Coach Self, he's brilliant . . . (Tyshawn Taylor)."


As a leader, here are some thoughts to consider:
1. Are your team members playing as a team?  Are they looking out for each other and focused on a common team goal or is every man out for himself?
2.  Do they trust you?  If not, why?  Have you demonstrated your ability to help them succeed?
3.  Does your team believe they can win?  And what are you doing to instill that confidence in them?

Does It Really Matter How Much Effort Goes Into the Job If They Can't Meet The Expectations?

Whether we like it or not, business is business and most likely if you work for a business in the United States, it is all about execution and accomplishment.  The bottom line is businesses don't pay people to try really hard.  They pay for results - whether that be creative results, productivity results, or theoretical results.  The person that gets promoted is likely the person that gets things done.

Some people are placed in the wrong roles and struggle getting accomplished what is expected.  Other people were bad hires.  And yet other people just aren't able or willing to adapt to the changes the organization is making.  

If you are fortunate enough to find a more appropriate role for the individual, you are golden.  However, I'm certainly not an advocate for passing your problem employee off to someone else because you don't want to address it.  If you are able to rearrange the work your team performs and utilize the skills of the person in question, all the better.  But that doesn't mean you create a job for them simply because it's easier than dealing with the problem.  

To answer the question posed at the beginning of this blog post, in my opinion it doesn't matter how much effort the person puts out if they can't meet the expectations of the job.  I know that sounds a bit calloused.  Actually, I think it's more painful and unfair to let a person work 14 hours a day to try to meet the demands when they clearly don't have the expertise or skill to accomplish the task.  The only fair thing to do is let them know they don't have what it takes, work with your HR department to determine next steps (i.e. find another position), and help them move on to a place where they can be successful (either within your organization or someplace else). I guess put yourself in their shoes.  Wouldn't you want to be successful?  What are your thoughts?

Setting the Goal is Easy, Sticking to it? Not so much.

Sticking to our goals is tough work. Boy, oh boy, is it tough to stay focused, motivated, and inspired to achieve a goal.  There are days that try our patience.  People that divert our attention elsewhere.  Circumstances that seem to occur at just the wrong times.  That the way life goes.  


You may have made a commitment this year.  Or even this week.  A commitment to make a personal change.  A commitment to give more positive reinforcement to employees.  A commitment to manage your time more effective.  A commitment to have some of those crucial conversations you have been putting off.  


When those days, circumstances, and people interrupt your focus remember two things:
1.  Don't give up.
2.  There is nothing wrong with baby steps when it comes to change.  


It's okay to fall off the wagon, but it's not okay to stay there.  And it's okay if you can't dive right in to make a big change, a baby step in the right direction each day will eventually get you to your destination.  
Go easy on yourself when you don't succeed and get back up and try again.  

Utilizing the Power of Positive Reinforcement

I don't care how confident or competent someone is, I've never heard someone say they don't want to hear what they are doing right (at least not say it and mean it).  We all need that reassurance now and then.  We need to know what we are doing is valued and that we, as human beings, as well as employees, are important.  

 I think we often take for granted that our employees know what we think of the work they are producing.  After all, didn't I tell you a month ago how much I appreciated your work on XYZ project?  Seriously, do I have to say something everyday? 


Well, maybe not every day but for most people positive reinforcement is music to their ears.  Nobody seems to hear enough about the good they are doing and feel like most of the energy is spent on the negative.  Just because you told someone they were doing a good job at their last performance review doesn't mean they are still doing a good job.  And in the volatile society in which we live, a little positive reinforcement and encouragement can go a long way.  


Positive reinforcement can be as simple as a "Great job on XYZ," "I really appreciate your effort and time on ABC," to "You know, when we talked during your last performance review I mentioned you needed to work on your presentation skills.  I can tell you took that feedback to heart - you've really improved."  


Be careful giving your problem employees positive reinforcement.  Sometimes if you are very specific with the feedback, they think they are doing well in everything and are now off the hook for whatever the issue was.  


Give me.  In general you can't go wrong when you provide positive reinforcement as long as you are specific and genuine.  

Help! What Do I Do With My High Maintenance Employee??!!!

There are few things more maddening to a very busy leader than the employee that requires more attention than seems "normal."  And it's a difficult balance - you don't want them to feel you are inaccessible yet you have an expectation that in their current position they shouldn't need you quite so much.  What's a leader to do?

Every have one of those employees that takes of three times more of your time than anyone else.  I'm not talking about the new hire that should be taking up more of your time.  I'm talking about the high maintenance employee, the one stopping by your office ten times per day to ask questions they should be able to figure out without your input.

Because leadership requires a certain amount of psychology, maybe step one should be to take a step back and try to answer the question "Why do they need so much attention?"  Some possible answers may be:

• They are feeling insecure about their abilities, job, role, relationship with you.
• They are not good critical thinkers.
• They are a bit lazy and would rather have you do the thinking.
• Your expectations are unrealistic.
• They don't have enough to do.

If you have read very many of my blog posts you know I'm likely to say a conversation is in order here.  In this particular case you might start with a simple request that they save up their questions for a daily/weekly meeting unless it is urgent or send some of the questions via email.  Sometimes people have a question and before they even take the time to think about it they get up and go ask someone (you) the answer.  If you can get them to start making a list during the day, they might find they find they are able to answer the question on their own.  If necessary, offer to schedule a daily meeting for the end of their workday each day when they can come in and present the list.  That could serve two purposes a few purposes - a daily coaching opportunity (gives you a chance to teach them a little critical thinking), provides security (after all, they are now getting daily face time with you), and it forces them to write all their items down and hopefully solve some of them on their own before the meeting.  Here is the bonus - if you schedule it at the end of the day with the clear understanding they are to hold all their questions (unless it's an emergency), it will likely be a short meeting (they aren't going to want to hang out and you likely already stay later than they do).  

Ummm, Excuse Me, I Think I'm the Customer

The title of this blog may lead one to believe it will be about retail business and/or customer service.  It is about customer service but the focus is on the "internal customer."  Unfortunately, many internal customers are being treated badly on a daily basis.  They are ignored and bullied by the very people who are expected to provide them a service.  Let's hope you aren't one of those people.  Anytime the term "customer" is used in this post, fill in the blank with "internal customer."

It is astounding that so many people don't understand who their customer is and/or how to treat a customer in the work place. Let me provide a few examples.  If you are an HR professional, your customer is likely the leadership team.  You are providing services and are an advocate for employees however, your customer is likely (depending on your business model) the leader.  If you are in manufacturing, your customer is the next stage in the assembly line.  It's very important to understand this and I'll use a simple analogy we can all relate to.

If I work at an electronics store and a 14 year old boy comes in with his mother to purchase a new laptop for the boy, it would be easy for me to think the 14 year old boy is the customer.  After all, the laptop is for the boy, he is telling me what he wants and requires in his device.  However, a critical component to this sale is the mother - she is likely paying the bill.  If I ignore her requests and needs, I will not make the sale.  If I talk down to her because she doesn't have any idea about RAM, DRAM, LOL, LMAO, I will lose the sale.  So, who is the customer in this case? Yep, mommy.

Now, let's take that back to the workplace.  If you don't clearly understand who your internal customers are, you will fail miserably in building sustaining relationships, gaining buy in, and reaching resolutions in conflicts.  If you mistakenly believe you are in a power struggle and don't treat the customer like a customer (more on that in a minute), you will quickly lose trust, respect, and business.  People will go out of their way to avoid you.  

So, what does customer service look like in the work place?  First, let's start with what it doesn't look like.  Some people mistakenly believe good customer service means you always give the customer what they want.  I disagree.  Slightly.  I say, you give the customer what they want within the scope of the services you can ethically, morally, and legally offer.  Being an HR person, I have to be very careful here.  Analogy again.  If you go into a Pizza place and say "I'd like a steak with a baked potato and side of steamed asparagus"  I guarantee they will very nicely send you down the road to a more appropriate location for your needs.  We shouldn't try to deliver something outside of our scope of expertise.  And we shouldn't compromise our integrity to provide a service either.  As a training professional I have many times been asked to provide a sub-par product for the sake of time or because someone thinks a Power Point equals" training.  This would be like asking a surgeon to only take out half the tumor because you don't want to lay on the table any longer.  

Here is what customer service looks like in the workplace:

• Friendly, cordial, kind
• Ethically, Morally, and Legally appropriate service (do I really need to elaborate on this any more?)
• The customers needs come first (not your time demands or personal opinions and desires.)
• Collaborative
• Customers are treated as welcome guests and the reason for your existence (not another person that wants your time)
• Customers' ideas are welcome and encouraged
• They feel listened to and respected when they leave
• Their time is valued 
• Promises are kept (projects delivered on time, calls returned)
• They walk away from a meeting with you feeling important, valuable, and like they can't wait to see you again.

The bottom line is, think about how you like to be treated as a customer, make sure you clearly understand who your internal customers are, and strive each day (no matter how difficult your customers may be), to provide the most outstanding service possible.

Mari

Are You Sick Of Hearing About Work/Life Balance?

If you're like most leaders you are sick to death of hearing about work life balance. You think it means you need to make sure your employees have balance while you continue to work 10, 12, 14, 16 hour days. Quite honestly I'm a little tired of hearing about it too.

 So, let's talk today about not only having a life but being the leader in every way possible. Here's the deal - when you consistently send people emails at 10 pm, casually mention you were working at 2 am because you couldn't sleep, and make work your life, you are not helping anyone. You are sending an unspoken message that work is not only part of your life, it IS your life and therefore it should be everyone else's life too. Even if you don't say it, you are the leader, and people expect to follow you. You are setting the standard.


If you aren't spending time with family, socializing with friends, or watching a sunset on a routine basis, you are not leading effectively. As human beings we need the opportunity to be human . . . outside of work. And if you aren't taking care of yourself and your needs, you will not have the energy or enthusiasm to lead.
                                           


Sure there are the occasional "crunch deadlines" where you have to put in a great deal of extra time (and may even require it from several employees). However, if this is the rule rather than the exception, there is something wrong.  Either you aren't delegating enough, you have a difficult time letting go of control, or your employer is making unrealistic demands.  Regardless of the issue, if this goes on for a prolonged period, it's time for you to have a crucial conversation, for yourself as well as your team.


It's just as important that you find time to laugh and enjoy life as it is that you work hard.  Without one, it's difficult to do the other for a prolonged amount of time.  When you think about work/life balance, think about the standard you are setting for your team.

Are You Letting a Gentle Wave Turn Into a Tsunami?

I find that when people (myself included) don't like to do something, they have a tendency to put it off.  And sometimes putting it off means you continue to put it off, and put it off, and put it off, until one day what started as a minor thing to take care of has now become this giant tsunami that you have no idea how to handle.  It's out of control and wreaking havoc on the rest of the world (or at least the department).  This is how it often goes when dealing with employee issues.  

  

We put it off in hopes it will either get better all by itself or it won't be such a problem anymore.  We put up having a five minute conversation with someone to let them know what needs to be handled differently and we wait until we can't ignore anymore due to the devastation and destruction on the rest of the team.  

I'm here to tell you, handle it now rather than later.  It's not likely to get better all by itself.  Mary isn't going to wake up one day and realize she is rude on the phone and Bill isn't going to suddenly quit wasting time.  Have the five minute conversation, set your expectations, hold them accountable and get on with your day.  I can almost guarantee the problem will only get bigger with time.  

Sometimes You Just Have to Dig Deep and Find the Good Stuff

I told my daughter I was having a hard time coming up with topics now that I've hit 30 consecutive days of blogging (the next 335 days should be really interesting).  She said "that's when you have to dig deep and find the good stuff."  Therein lies the topic of today's post.  

 

As leaders, you are challenged on a daily basis.  You are challenged by too many demands, stupid people (I attempted to use a more politically correct term but it is what it is), and bonehead decisions others have made that you are required to make look pretty.  And then there are the people, oh, the people that seem to have gotten up today with no other motive than to make your life more difficult.    


Although those times are trying, the reality is that's when you find out what you are really made of.  When you are able to keep it together, to rise above the insanity, to remain calm when everyone else is screaming, you know you have arrived.  The tough times are when we have to dig deep and find out what we are made of.  


If you keep this in mind, you should welcome the unexpected challenges that try your patience.  Welcome the stress, welcome the employee that you have no idea how to handle.  These are opportunities.  These are opportunities for you to dig deep and find out what you are made of.  You might want to invest in a good shovel.  

How Bad Leaders Impact An Organization

Yesterday I wrote about the impact good leaders can have on not only a work experience but a life.  Unfortunately, bad leaders can also impact lives and organizations.  


Maybe bad leaders are not bad people but just bad leaders.  I'm not sure which is the case but I do know they also impact people's lives.  I'm going to provide a run down of types of bad leaders and then briefly discuss their impact.  This list is not at all intended to be all-inclusive and I'd be happy to hear your additions to the list.  


1.  The Screamer
2.  The "I didn't plan so you need to pay"
3.  The Game player
4.  The Hawk
5.  Mr./Mrs. Invisible
6.  Mr/Mrs. Arrogant aka "Do As I Say Because I'm The Boss"
7.  Mr./Mrs. Incompetent
8.  Mr./Mrs. Rogers
9.  The Drill Sergeant
                     


Some of the labels I've provided are a bit harsh but you all know it's true.  And the impact of each is pretty similar.  Many of us have worked for leaders that obviously have no idea what they are doing and don't even realize they need help (Incompetent).  These leaders make our lives miserable because they can't help us.  


Mr./Mrs. Rogers wants to be everyone's friend so they get involved in gossip, give you information about your peers that you shouldn't know, and generally try to be your friend instead of your leader.  This makes it very difficult for them to provide you honest feedback that will allow you to grow and flourish to the next level.


The Screamer and Drill Sergeant are self-explanatory and I only hope you aren't enduring this person right now.  Worse yet, I hope you aren't this person (unless of course, you actually happen to be a drill sergeant).  


The Hawk is the micro-manager that believes the only way people will work is if you hover over them.  


And the Game Player . . . my personal favorite - NOT.  This is the person that likes to play head games with people.  They give mixed messages just to see what you'll do with it.  These people like to instigate drama for some odd reason.  And as an employee, you never know where you stand with them.  


The impact of each of these personalities are fairly easy to guess.  The impact is first realized in lost productivity, unhappiness, disgruntled employees, people missing work because they can't stand to be there, and general low morale.  Ultimately, good employees leave the organization because they can't stand working for the "bad leader."  And finally, after much too much time has passed and damage has occurred, the leader is counseled and/or realizes there is a problem.  That's the obvious impact.  Let's talk about the behind the scenes impact.  


These people destroy lives as well as businesses.  Employees go home stressed and wanting to quit their jobs.  They yell at spouses and kids.  They drink too much.  The environment at work impacts them personally - emotionally and physically.  It creates a chain reaction.  


And why am I telling you this?  Make sure you are NOT one of these leaders.  


Mari  


  

How Good Leaders Shape Our Lives

I'm taking a little trip down memory lane today in hopes you might also do the same.  Close your eyes (after you read this of course) and reflect back on the leaders in your life that impacted you the most - both positively and negatively.  

 

Think about the attributes and behaviors they demonstrated that created such an impact.  And then take a look in the mirror and see if you have any opportunities for improvement. 




The first leader that impacted me was a basketball coach in Coffeyville, KS.  I was new to the school and he convinced me to try out.  I have to say there were some really good players on our team and as a Sophomore in a new school, I was more than a bit intimidated.  As if high school isn't stressful enough, my home life had changed significantly.  This coach was so encouraging.  He worked us hard but somehow inspired us to give 100% every single day.  We practiced weekends and all through Christmas break.  I found myself practicing even when we weren't having official practice.  I just wanted to be the best I could be.  Before I knew it I was playing more Varsity than JV.  What qualities did this leader exemplify - an unwavering faith in an ability I didn't even know I possessed.  He taught me how to use my strengths and work with others to achieve success.  


The next early leader I remember is my brother.  He is a year older than me but I looked up to him as if he was 10 years older than me.  Something shifted in our relationship during the high school years and he became practically a God in my eyes.  Oh, he was tough on me, expecting good grades, good behavior, and nothing but excellence in everything I did (which I surely disappointed him on more than one occasion).  What qualities did he possess - passion for life and everything he attempted, leading by example, an unwavering protectiveness of me, and so much laughter my jaws hurt.  He taught me to both work hard and play hard and the importance of "creating memories."


There was one leader in my work life that also positively impacted me.  His name was Evan.  He was a senior leader in a very large organization who had stacks and stacks of work on his desk.  Evan did something as a leader I had never witnessed a leader do before.  Whenever I needed to talk to him (which wasn't often), he would invite me into his office and assure me I wasn't bothering him at all (which we all know I was), then he would get up from his desk (away from his computer and the distractions of work), walk over to a little table with two chairs in his office and invite me to sit down.  During the brief time I needed to talk to him, he made me feel like I was the only person in the world that was important.  As an employee, I never felt more valued and appreciated than I did during that time.  


Of course there were many bad leaders along the way too, but the leaders mentioned here shaped me at an early age.  They inspired me to be a better person and a better leader.  Truth be told, they may have a lot to do with the fact that I'm even writing this blog.  Wouldn't it be amazing to have that kind of impact on another human being?  


Mari

Ah, The Joy of Having Those Difficult Conversations!

Woohoo, I get to go have a tough conversation with "insert name."  Excited about telling John you need his performance to improve?  Can't wait to have the conversation with your boss regarding your need for more work/life balance?  Inspired to tell Suzie she needs to wear a little less perfume or the whole office might have to resort to gas masks at work?  


Somehow the idea of having those types of conversations don't make most people want to jump out of bed in the morning excited and inspired to get to work.  Yeah, not so much.  

 

Being ever the rebel in the workplace, I say we should be inspired by these conversations!  We should be excited at the opportunity to resolve conflict at work!  We should look forward to providing feedback that is going to improve our relationships and quality of work!  It doesn't have to be so scary people.  Here is the trick.  Listen closely.  Oh, I mean, read closely.  


The secret to success in this case is remembering three very important points:
1.  Have a heart for success - success for the person you are talking to and your own success.


2.  It's Feedback and all feedback is good feedback.  Too many people think of these conversations as providing "constructive criticism."  Uggghhhh.  Enough with the oxymorons.  It's feedback, intended to help the person be successful.  You are providing valuable feedback that is intended to help this person and/or your relationship with this person.  Deliver it with that spirit and you can't go wrong.


3.  You can't control their reaction.  You can only control your heart in delivering the message and your actual choice of words, timing, tone, etc.  You can't control how they respond to the message.  Do everything you can to be respectful and kind, yet firm and leave the rest to them.  


Let's look at the alternative to having these conversations.  If you don't have the "conversation," it will likely be the elephant in the room for all future interactions.  The issue will remain unresolved.  You will become resentful because the other person hasn't yet mastered the art of reading your mind so you don't have to actually have the conversation and overall, it just won't be pretty.  Get on with it already.  Adhere to the three points listed above and have the conversation.  You'll sleep better, work better, and probably gain some respect in the process.  


You can do this - I know you can.  

Mari

Hey, I Think You Might Have A Blind Spot!

Harvard Business Review recently published an article titled "Are You The Boss You Need to Be?"  This title intrigued me and my first question to self was "Who defines what kind of boss I need to be?"  Fortunately for me (and for you too should you choose to read the article), the article did a pretty good job of answering this question (hint: it has to do with your paycheck).  

Maybe more importantly and so I don't re-write an already good article, it prompted another question that I hope to answer in this blog (or at least bring another perspective).  This blog is in response to the age old question asked by leaders for years and years and that is "Why do I need to develop?  I've been doing pretty well all these years if you ask me?"  And maybe you are right.  Maybe you have been doing pretty good. 

 

Or maybe you are just blind to your own weaknesses and opportunities for improvement.  You know what they say "You don't know what you don't know."


The big question I want you to consider is not "Am I doing pretty good?" I want you to consider this question, "Have I reached my maximum effectiveness level as a leader and how do I know?"


I could be wrong here but I don't think when your organization hired you as a leader they were looking for someone that was average, mediocre, or pretty good.  In this day and age, with the number of highly qualified people unemployed and hungry to work, pretty good just isn't going to cut it.  And do you really go home with pride at the end of the day after doing a pretty good job at work?  Just a little reminder here - YOU are the leader, the person responsible for exemplifying the behavior we want to see in all employees.  


So, have you reached your maximum effectiveness level?  I have a really bad habit of answering questions with questions.  I think only you can answer this question and maybe the best way to answer the question is by responding to a few other questions:  

• Do you know how to handle the most complicated employee issue with ease?  
• Are your team members consistently inspired and motivated to come to work and give their best more often than not? 
•  Are they happy and having fun while being highly productive?  
• How's your turnover?  
• Are you able to balance your competing demands without working 16 hour days or wanting to kill someone?  
• Have you asked your employees for specific feedback regarding your performance in say, the last decade (or ever)? 
•  Are you learning and growing just as you expect your team members to learn and grow? 
•  Are you mentoring other would-be leaders? 
•  Are your team members empowered to make decisions within their scope of control?  

You know what the correct answer is to each of these questions.  Maybe by answering these questions, you will see your own need for development and eliminate any blind spots you might be harboring.  

Are You An Invisible Leader?

I know you have a lot on your plate - meetings, emails, more meetings, conference calls, and more emails.  I know there are days you don't even have time to run to the restroom between meetings.  Organizations demand a great deal from us. 

 As a leader however, your first responsibility is to lead your team.  That might be difficult to do if you're never there to see the team.  You run the risk of becoming an Invisible Leader.  

 

Employee's View of Invisible Leader

From the employee's perspective, invisible leaders can be a very good thing.  

1.  I don't have to worry about the boss showing up so I can pretty much do as I want.

2.  Why should I care about my job when my boss is too busy to care about me, my development, or my needs?

3.  I can maintain status quo.  As long as I don't do something grossly inadequate, my boss has no idea what I'm doing.  

Invisible leaders like to refer to themselves as "hands off" leaders too.  My question to these people is "how can you possible lead if you aren't around to know what the issues are, what barriers people have, what development people need, and are not available to provide feedback regarding performance.  

I can hear the barriers now - "But my boss requires me to be in these meetings," "I have all these conference calls I have to attend," "I get 500 emails a day."  I don't doubt every single one of these statements and that's where a little time management and crucial conversations come in.  The reality is it may become necessary for you to prioritize your activities a little better, delegate some of the meetings, relinquish control a bit, and that might even require the help of your boss.  It might be necessary to have a conversation and say "Look, this is what is on my plate right now. I feel like my highest priority is to lead my team and I'm not available to do this.  I need your guidance in helping me to prioritize."  You may be surprised to learn that your leader had no idea how full your plate had become.  

Don't get me wrong here - I'm not talking about one busy day a week.  I'm referring to the perpetually busy leader that is never around to lead.  And I'm not saying a leader needs to hover over their employees every minute of every day.  That's not leadership, it's micromanaging.  They do need to be available though.  And Approachable.  And most importantly you need to be visible (either by phone, Skype, or in person).  

Mari