Ah, The Joy of Having Those Difficult Conversations!

Woohoo, I get to go have a tough conversation with "insert name."  Excited about telling John you need his performance to improve?  Can't wait to have the conversation with your boss regarding your need for more work/life balance?  Inspired to tell Suzie she needs to wear a little less perfume or the whole office might have to resort to gas masks at work?  


Somehow the idea of having those types of conversations don't make most people want to jump out of bed in the morning excited and inspired to get to work.  Yeah, not so much.  

 

Being ever the rebel in the workplace, I say we should be inspired by these conversations!  We should be excited at the opportunity to resolve conflict at work!  We should look forward to providing feedback that is going to improve our relationships and quality of work!  It doesn't have to be so scary people.  Here is the trick.  Listen closely.  Oh, I mean, read closely.  


The secret to success in this case is remembering three very important points:
1.  Have a heart for success - success for the person you are talking to and your own success.


2.  It's Feedback and all feedback is good feedback.  Too many people think of these conversations as providing "constructive criticism."  Uggghhhh.  Enough with the oxymorons.  It's feedback, intended to help the person be successful.  You are providing valuable feedback that is intended to help this person and/or your relationship with this person.  Deliver it with that spirit and you can't go wrong.


3.  You can't control their reaction.  You can only control your heart in delivering the message and your actual choice of words, timing, tone, etc.  You can't control how they respond to the message.  Do everything you can to be respectful and kind, yet firm and leave the rest to them.  


Let's look at the alternative to having these conversations.  If you don't have the "conversation," it will likely be the elephant in the room for all future interactions.  The issue will remain unresolved.  You will become resentful because the other person hasn't yet mastered the art of reading your mind so you don't have to actually have the conversation and overall, it just won't be pretty.  Get on with it already.  Adhere to the three points listed above and have the conversation.  You'll sleep better, work better, and probably gain some respect in the process.  


You can do this - I know you can.  

Mari