It's True, Some Employees Just Don't Want to Hear Your Feedback

Some leaders put a lot of pressure on themselves to be able to "coach" all employees to success.  The reality is all employees are not receptive to coaching and/or feedback.  Like the old saying goes, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him (or her) drink.  Or how about, it takes two to tango (not sure that one applies but oh well).  


Unless you are running some underground child labor camp (and I hope you get caught if you are), I'm going to assume you are dealing with an adult.  Then again, why would you be reading a leadership blog if you were leading an underground child labor camp?  Anyway, if you have read any of my other blog posts you know I'm a firm believer in providing timely and direct feedback.  That being said, there are some employees that aren't ready to hear the feedback provided (and sadly they may never be ready).  They either believe you don't know what you are talking about, don't want to admit their own deficiencies, and/or can't hear what you are saying in the spirit in which it is intended (kinda like when the student is ready the teacher will appear).  

But how will you know this is the case?  Well, first of all make sure you are clearly communicating.  Ask them to verbalize their interpretation of the feedback provided.  Next, see if their behavior changes.  This won't be as easy as it should be because they are likely to modify their behavior in your presence.  You'll need to do some digging and follow up with others on this one - customers, people attending the same meetings, your peers, etc.


If the change occurs - good for you, maybe you have successfully coached another employee and can go home feeling good about yourself.  If not and if the negative behavior is affecting their ability (or the team's ability) to be successful, it's time to start the formal disciplinary process and visit your HR person.  Keep in mind, this is not for those behaviors that just irritate you (i.e. nose picking, talking too softly, etc.) or are career limiting (meaning they will never be promoted until they get it under control).  This is intended for those behaviors that are impacting their ability to be successful in their current role.  So, consider the option - as much as I want to believe everyone can be successful.  They have to want to be successful in the first place.