Why Some Employees Are Jacked Up

The title of this blog would surely get me fired if I were the HR person in a large corporation.  It's not politically correct.  And God help us all if we are actually honest in the work place.  But, lucky for me, I don't work in a large corporation so I can be totally honest with my blog readers. Let me say ahead of time, if this blogs offends you in any way, please just ignore it and try to find the nugget within it that can help you be a better leader.  

One thing I know for sure, there are a lot of corporate trainers out there, a lot of different cultures, a lot of training seminars, and a lot of personal viewpoints and biases.  Don't get me wrong there are many, many very professional, knowledgeable people out there who are passionate about helping you be the best you can be.  We are human beings though and can't help but have a few biases.  Unfortunately, some of you have learned a few things along the way that was presented as gospel and was really one person's viewpoint.  Much like this blog is my viewpoint.  I do try to weave in statistics and resources to validate my viewpoint but at the end of the day, you have to live with yourself and find what works for you.  Enough of the soap box.

So, here is my viewpoint as to why some employees are jacked up.  

Feedback.  Incorrect feedback.  Feedback given because of one person's viewpoint.  Feedback provided that caused confusion, fear, and was basically an attack on the individual's personality and character and had nothing to do with their work performance.  

• I know employees that have been told by their leaders that they laugh too much at work - they are too happy and not businesslike "enough."

• I know employees that have been told they are too attractive.  They weren't dressing inappropriately, weren't flirtatious - but the fact they are so attractive is career limiting.  

• I know employees that have been told they shouldn't be so polite at work.  Leave the manners at home.

The list goes on.  It's sad really.  


After 20 years of hearing feedback like this.  It's no wonder by the time you get them, they are no longer very receptive to feedback. 

The LESSON

Let's keep the feedback focused on work performance.  Let's make it valuable, important, and focused.  Let's make sure our feedback isn't based on our own biases.  And if it is, present it as such (example:  "This may not bother other people but it is a big pet peeve of mine.  Could you please not approach me until I've had my first cup of coffee, unless it's an emergency?").  Let's limit our feedback to those things are are important and will truly help the person be successful.  

Yes, It Is Just As Important To Celebrate Success As It Is To Hold People Accountable

I strongly believe in accountability.

But who doesn't love a great party!?!

It seems the work place is either continually focused on what needs fixed or continually focused on what everyone is doing great.  As is the case with all things, balance is a good thing.  

If you want to reinforce what people are doing right - celebrate successes!


This doesn't mean put a cake in the break room and send an email out telling everyone to help themselves.  That is NOT a celebration.  That's junk food in the break room.  And oh, by the way, that sugar high will last a max of an hour so anticipate people searching for more sugar soon.  


To celebrate, you have to make an effort.  Of course, that effort will depend on the magnitude of the celebration.  Don't worry, I'm not suggesting you should "celebrate" every time someone comes to work on time.  However, I do think we all need to spend a little more time acknowledging our "wins" and a little less time criticizing (either outwardly or inwardly).  


Bottom line - you get more of what you focus on.  Celebrate the successes and watch people work harder to attain more success.  There is just something about feeling appreciated and valuable.  Celebrating is one way we can demonstrate our heartfelt appreciation.  


Need some other creative ways to recognize employees?  Try this book. I've used it for years and love, love, love it!

It's True, Some Employees Just Don't Want to Hear Your Feedback

Some leaders put a lot of pressure on themselves to be able to "coach" all employees to success.  The reality is all employees are not receptive to coaching and/or feedback.  Like the old saying goes, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him (or her) drink.  Or how about, it takes two to tango (not sure that one applies but oh well).  


Unless you are running some underground child labor camp (and I hope you get caught if you are), I'm going to assume you are dealing with an adult.  Then again, why would you be reading a leadership blog if you were leading an underground child labor camp?  Anyway, if you have read any of my other blog posts you know I'm a firm believer in providing timely and direct feedback.  That being said, there are some employees that aren't ready to hear the feedback provided (and sadly they may never be ready).  They either believe you don't know what you are talking about, don't want to admit their own deficiencies, and/or can't hear what you are saying in the spirit in which it is intended (kinda like when the student is ready the teacher will appear).  

But how will you know this is the case?  Well, first of all make sure you are clearly communicating.  Ask them to verbalize their interpretation of the feedback provided.  Next, see if their behavior changes.  This won't be as easy as it should be because they are likely to modify their behavior in your presence.  You'll need to do some digging and follow up with others on this one - customers, people attending the same meetings, your peers, etc.


If the change occurs - good for you, maybe you have successfully coached another employee and can go home feeling good about yourself.  If not and if the negative behavior is affecting their ability (or the team's ability) to be successful, it's time to start the formal disciplinary process and visit your HR person.  Keep in mind, this is not for those behaviors that just irritate you (i.e. nose picking, talking too softly, etc.) or are career limiting (meaning they will never be promoted until they get it under control).  This is intended for those behaviors that are impacting their ability to be successful in their current role.  So, consider the option - as much as I want to believe everyone can be successful.  They have to want to be successful in the first place.  

So, Who Is Really Leading Your Team?

Here's the deal - Somebody is leading your team.  It's human nature really.  In any group, even kids on a playground, a leader emerges.  It may be the bully or it may be the "smart kid" or it may be the "athlete" but a leader generally emerges.  It may be the designated leader or it may be someone else entirely.  And it could even be a collaborative effort.  


Let's fast forward from the playground to your office.  If you aren't leading, someone else is.  Again, it may be the bully, it may be the Union plant chair, it may be the most negative person in your group, it may be the most "entitled" person in your group, or hey, it might be you.  


It would be a good idea to find out who is really the leader.  I mean, who is the person who doesn't necessarily have the title but everyone listens to.  And if it's not you, are you okay with the person that is leading the team (maybe they are a potential successor and/or a very positive influence)?  If not, it's time for you to get some help.  Talk to your HR person, do some research (this blog is a good place to start), and ask some questions.  Just remember, someone is leading your team.  If you choose not to, someone else will step up to the task.  

What Do Employees Really Want?

"I give you a paycheck.  What more do you want?"

Well, that's one way to approach leadership and employee morale, albeit maybe not the best.  And it might even work for those employees that no other employers want or who don't have the confidence to look elsewhere.  But if we are talking about the employees you don't want to lose, how about we try a few different alternatives?


The answer to the question in the heading is "it depends."  Unfortunately, there is not a one size fits all approach to keeping good employees.  That's where you need to pay attention and ask a few questions.  All people are different.  Assuming their basic monetary needs are being met, the rest of what drives them and/or keeps them depends on what stage in life they currently are in and what motivates them (i.e. family time, play time, more in their 401K, learning opportunities, or a bigger title).  Believe me when I say "more money is not the be all, end all to keeping employees."


Alternative #1
Show people on a daily basis that they are valued, respected, and heard.  


"How do I do this?" you ask.


Tell them you appreciate how hard they worked on their project.  Put your cell phone down when they call and make eye contact with them.  Don't interrupt them when they speak to you.  Tell them they are an important part of the team. Think about how it would feel if you were valued, respected, and heard and demonstrate those behaviors.  


Alternative #2
Ask them what inspires and motivates them and then do everything in your power to provide opportunities for them.


Alternative #3
Treat them like grown ups with a brain.  


There is nothing more demoralizing than to have a college education and then be told to sort pencils for the day.   This is not motivating.  It's a waste of your company's money, the employee's talent, and what's the point really?


Well, that's a start.  Really, don't all people just want to be appreciated?

Have We Forgotten Common Courtesy in the Workplace?

I'm amazed recently at a few organizations in which I have consulted in which common courtesy seems to have been thrown out the window.  I was in a meeting with a leader that was interrupted not once, not twice, but three times in less than 30 minutes.  

The first person apologized at least five times for interrupting yet continued to ask their questions of the person I was meeting with.  Was it a fire?  No.  Was it an urgent question with a deadline of less than an hour?  No.  Was this leader typically inaccessible and hard to catch?  No.  Although the first person that interrupted was apologetic their actions spoke volumes.  They obviously felt like their issue was more important than my scheduled meeting.  They also must have thought their time was more valuable than mine (only child maybe?).  And they evidently were not taught good manners growing up.  

I have to give the second person credit - they saw someone in the room and turned around and walked out.  

The third person didn't even pretend to be apologetic and just barged in and asked their questions.  Again, it wasn't urgent, the building was not on fire, and it could have easily waited for 30 minutes (maybe even 30 days).  

What has happened to professionalism and common courtesy?  Do we not think it applies at work?  Do you do this to your employees?  Come on people - respect, courtesy, and manners don't stop at the parking lot.  Let's not get so busy we think we don't have time to be humane.  

Culture Matters

I was talking to a friend of mine recently who has by all outside standards, a good job.  It pays well for the work performed, excellent benefit package, nice people, and although like most leadership jobs, it can drive a person crazy at times, overall, there really isn't much to complain about.  However, this person, who is an excellent employee, does not have any desire to stay with this employer.  No, this isn't your run of the mill Boomer or Gen Xer that is never satisfied with what they have.  This is a loyal employee, a person looking for their "forever home" so to speak.  I was intrigued so I asked more.


I asked "Hmmmm, why would you leave?"


"The culture.  The atmosphere.  The priorities of the leadership team. The priorities of the company."


Right,wrong, or indifferent, the leadership team of this organization demonstrated behaviors that were competitive, politically driven (instead of doing the right thing doing what was politically acceptable), and archaic (1950's approach).  This was the culture of the company.  It was the brand.  It's unfortunate this company will lose a very valuable employee because the good employees are confident enough to go someplace where they will be valued and respected.  

What culture are you driving in your department and organization? 

Is it a culture that cares about it's people and wants to see them happy and enjoying their work?  Or is it a culture of fear, politics, and cut-throat behaviors because the only way to get ahead is by tearing others down? 


If you want the best employees, your culture has to represent an environment where those employees can thrive.  


Culture does matter.