How Are You Handling Conflict?

Conflict is a natural part of the working with other people.  Put a bunch of people with different thoughts, ideas, viewpoints, educations, and experiences together and sooner or later, you can count on some conflict.  Conflict is not the problem. 


 Actually, conflict is a good thing.  Without it, you would have an entire organization of something that closely resembles "The Stepford Wives."


And although having a group of "Stepford Wives" may sound like a wonderful idea at the moment, having an entire group of people that think exactly alike is not likely to keep your company competitive, creative, or energized.  

"Where all think alike, no one thinks very much."

-Walter Lippmann

Let's take a look at how you and/or your employees are dealing with conflict.  As a leader, a huge part of your job is to navigate the political waters at work in a professional and tactful way.  You need to contribute your ideas and viewpoints but not shut others down in the process.   You want to make sure when you have conflict, it doesn't look like this: 

On the other hand, dealing with conflict by going into your office and singing "laaalalalalaalal, I can't hear you" probably isn't the best option either.  

The goal is to find a good balance between the two.  A skilled person in this area will step up to conflict when necessary.  They will read the situation, body language, mood of the room, quickly and be able to adapt accordingly.  A person good at dealing with conflict is also a good listener.  It's not all about you after all.  And maybe most importantly, the person that is good at dealing with conflict is good at finding a common place to start negotiating.  They are good at saying things like "We are in agreement on this point." They don't put the other person on the defensive and instead, validate what they have heard and the reasoning behind it.  

If you aren't sure how well you deal with conflict at work, ask others that you trust.  If you know you don't deal with conflict well, try to define which part you struggle with.  Are you too emotional and get so angry you can't talk?  Does the idea of raising an opposing view make you queasy?  Obviously, this is a very difficult competency to master.  It is important for you to note that your ability or lack of will affect your promotability and ability to lead others.  Take a class, hire a coach, read a book, or watch those that appear to be very good at this.  It will be well worth your time to master this skill and will likely impact every part of your life.  

Mari