It's True, Some Employees Just Don't Want to Hear Your Feedback

Some leaders put a lot of pressure on themselves to be able to "coach" all employees to success.  The reality is all employees are not receptive to coaching and/or feedback.  Like the old saying goes, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him (or her) drink.  Or how about, it takes two to tango (not sure that one applies but oh well).  


Unless you are running some underground child labor camp (and I hope you get caught if you are), I'm going to assume you are dealing with an adult.  Then again, why would you be reading a leadership blog if you were leading an underground child labor camp?  Anyway, if you have read any of my other blog posts you know I'm a firm believer in providing timely and direct feedback.  That being said, there are some employees that aren't ready to hear the feedback provided (and sadly they may never be ready).  They either believe you don't know what you are talking about, don't want to admit their own deficiencies, and/or can't hear what you are saying in the spirit in which it is intended (kinda like when the student is ready the teacher will appear).  

But how will you know this is the case?  Well, first of all make sure you are clearly communicating.  Ask them to verbalize their interpretation of the feedback provided.  Next, see if their behavior changes.  This won't be as easy as it should be because they are likely to modify their behavior in your presence.  You'll need to do some digging and follow up with others on this one - customers, people attending the same meetings, your peers, etc.


If the change occurs - good for you, maybe you have successfully coached another employee and can go home feeling good about yourself.  If not and if the negative behavior is affecting their ability (or the team's ability) to be successful, it's time to start the formal disciplinary process and visit your HR person.  Keep in mind, this is not for those behaviors that just irritate you (i.e. nose picking, talking too softly, etc.) or are career limiting (meaning they will never be promoted until they get it under control).  This is intended for those behaviors that are impacting their ability to be successful in their current role.  So, consider the option - as much as I want to believe everyone can be successful.  They have to want to be successful in the first place.  

Is Your Idea of Motivation a Strong "Drop & Give Me 20!?"

I have to admit I have a tendency to see the best in others.  I like to believe that everyone is doing the best they can with what they know and believe.  That being said, "I've heard some very strange arguments regarding how to motivate employees."  Beyond the heading of "Drop and Give Me 20," here are just a few:

• "Why should I have to motivate them.  Nobody has to motivate me."
• "I'll show them motivation.  Does "Your fired" motivate you enough?"
• "I told them how much I appreciated them during their performance review.  How many times do I have to tell them anyway?"
• "Money is the only way to motivate my people and since my company won't let me give them more money, my hands are tied."
• "Motivate the team?  Are you kidding?  I'm too busy for that."
• "I don't have a budget for that.  Not happening."

If you gave me one of these responses and I were your HR person, it would take all my self control to not look at you quizzically and ask how you made it to a leadership role.  Being the professional I am however, and wanting to see the best in people I would come to the conclusion that you didn't know these were lame excuses.


Let me give you a bit of a news flash.  Here are a few things that are NOT motivating.

• Trying to control people who are grown ups (paying their own bills, making their own decisions). Unless you work for the US Military, this is not the way we generally treat free Americans.
• Micro-managing those that don't deserve it (it's okay to micro-manage low performers for a defined amount of time.
• Threats
• Belittling and Condescending tones (i.e. acting like you know it all).
• An unhappy and boring workplace.
• A workplace filled with gossip and political games.
• Telling your employees "good job" once a year.
• A boss that is too busy or uninterested in his/her employees to know or care about them.  
• Working for someone who obviously doesn't like their job or employer.
• Throwing money at all the aforementioned problems.

Motivating your team is not about time or money.  There are so many ways to motivate people. A kind word.  A project they are inspired by.  Having the opportunity to work with someone they respect.  Flexible schedules.  Showing that you care.  Asking about the family.  Creating a development plan.  Telling them the vision you have for them.  Tapping into a hidden talent.  Telecommuting.  Noticing when they seem to be having a bad day.  Encouragement.  Confidence in their success.  None of these cost money.  

And the bottom line . . . . if you are a leader, it's your responsibility.  

Ah, The Joy of Having Those Difficult Conversations!

Woohoo, I get to go have a tough conversation with "insert name."  Excited about telling John you need his performance to improve?  Can't wait to have the conversation with your boss regarding your need for more work/life balance?  Inspired to tell Suzie she needs to wear a little less perfume or the whole office might have to resort to gas masks at work?  


Somehow the idea of having those types of conversations don't make most people want to jump out of bed in the morning excited and inspired to get to work.  Yeah, not so much.  

 

Being ever the rebel in the workplace, I say we should be inspired by these conversations!  We should be excited at the opportunity to resolve conflict at work!  We should look forward to providing feedback that is going to improve our relationships and quality of work!  It doesn't have to be so scary people.  Here is the trick.  Listen closely.  Oh, I mean, read closely.  


The secret to success in this case is remembering three very important points:
1.  Have a heart for success - success for the person you are talking to and your own success.


2.  It's Feedback and all feedback is good feedback.  Too many people think of these conversations as providing "constructive criticism."  Uggghhhh.  Enough with the oxymorons.  It's feedback, intended to help the person be successful.  You are providing valuable feedback that is intended to help this person and/or your relationship with this person.  Deliver it with that spirit and you can't go wrong.


3.  You can't control their reaction.  You can only control your heart in delivering the message and your actual choice of words, timing, tone, etc.  You can't control how they respond to the message.  Do everything you can to be respectful and kind, yet firm and leave the rest to them.  


Let's look at the alternative to having these conversations.  If you don't have the "conversation," it will likely be the elephant in the room for all future interactions.  The issue will remain unresolved.  You will become resentful because the other person hasn't yet mastered the art of reading your mind so you don't have to actually have the conversation and overall, it just won't be pretty.  Get on with it already.  Adhere to the three points listed above and have the conversation.  You'll sleep better, work better, and probably gain some respect in the process.  


You can do this - I know you can.  

Mari

Dealing with the Employee that Doesn't Listen

There are many types of employee issues at work.  One issue that is very frustrating to leaders is the employee that doesn't listen - to instructions, at staff meetings, to the customer, and to you.  These are the people that seem to hear just part of the message and sometimes they are such master manipulators that they have you wondering if you really said what you think you said.  These also tend to be the people that hear just enough to do damage.


Rather than beating yourself up all the time thinking you obviously are not a good communicator.  

Or resorting to treating them like a grade-schooler with comments such as "Do you have your listening ears on?" try a few of these steps when dealing with a poor listener.  Actually, these steps are just good routines to get into anyway.


1.  Verbally communicate very directly with this person, especially when providing instructions.


2.  Ask them to repeat back to you their understanding of what you just discussed.  


3.  Clarify anything they didn't include when repeating back to you.


4.  Follow up with an email that clearly articulates what your discussion was about including specific steps and deadlines.   


5.  Hold them accountable.  Print the email and have it in front of you at your next meeting.  Whatever you do, make sure you save the email.  


Here is an example of an "after the conversation" email below.


Joe, 


As we discussed today your assignment is to merge the three current sales reports into one report.  The new report should include all of the date that is currently in the three separate reports. After creating the new report, I'd like to review it before you start on the next step of creating charts to visually display the data.  The combined report should be ready for my review by Thursday, March 2.  


When we met today you verbalized that you understood the tasks and instructions.  If something has changed or you have questions about this assignment, please let me know immediately.  I will set up a brief meeting for us twice a week to review your progress and answer questions.  Our first meeting will be Monday, February 15.


Your Supervisor

"There are people who, instead of listening to what is being said to them, are already listening to what they are going to say themselves."

— Albert Guinon

At least with written documentation you won't think you are crazy and you have eliminated the "I didn't understand" excuse.  If necessary you can print it and use it with the employee in your next meeting.  


This doesn't mean you should have to write down everything you say to this person.  Steps 1-3 will work for daily conversation and after a while they will get tired of having to tell you what you said.  At the minimum you can feel good about your communication.  And if it doesn't get better, see my blog post on dealing with performance issues.  


Good luck and be sure to put your listening ears on today : )


Mari

Is Social Media Your Friend at Work?

The good and bad thing about using social media in the workplace is sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Youtube are powerful sources of communication regarding what your company is all about.  It's really just word of mouth on steroids.  

“How can you squander even one more day not taking advantage of the greatest shifts of our generation? How dare you settle for less when the world has made it so easy for you to be remarkable?”

~ Seth Godin, Seth’s Blog

I find it interesting how companies are reacting to this challenge.  Some take the hierarchical approach and have their IT department block all access to any social media sites.  Not sure what rational they are giving the people other than it wastes time.  And on the other side of the spectrum we have companies that see, "Please, go ahead and take a break from your project to post something on Facebook.  No problem."  Those in the middle  know their people are on these sites but ignore it and hope it goes away.  


The reality is you can't really stop your people from socializing while at work.  It's kind of a generational thing.  Boomers like to get coffee and hang out in the break room.  Gen X and Gen Y check with friends online.  If you try to stop it at work, they will just get on their phones and do it that way.  Instead of focusing on the lost productivity of social media in the workplace, let's talk about the benefits.  

Be authentic and organic. It can’t be forced or it won’t work. And most importantly, have fun.

-Richard Branson, Virgin (on using social media)

Social Media Is a Powerful Sales & Marketing Tool
If social media is word of mouth on steroids, wouldn't it be a good idea to let your employees "sell" your products and company online?  Of course you can't dictate that your employees are only selling your products when they are online but it stands to reason they are like to post about their employer at some point.  


Social Media Is a Powerful Recruiting Tool
If your good employees are online talking about what a great job they have, their friends will be interested.  Your good employees are your most powerful asset, as long as you don't try to stifle and confine them.  


Social Media Could Hold You More Accountable As a Leader
I have to wonder if some leaders are so averse to social media because they are afraid their employees are talking about them online.  Social Media holds us all accountable to be great leaders.  Just think of it this way.  If you are a great leader, your employees are going to talk about that on social media.  That could help you recruit others, it could help your career because word will get out about you, it could even result in other opportunities.  In this day and age, your future is largely dependent upon people's perception of you.  A great number of employers first conduct a Google search on any prospective employee.  How great would it be if someone Google searched you and found comments related to what a great human being and leader you are to work for.  


On the other hand, if you have a tendency to be unethical, micro-managing, tyrannical, and a bully, the use of social media will hold you accountable - guaranteed.  


Social Media Is A Different Version of the Traditional Break Room
The reality is, people need a break from the stress and monotony of the day.  We used to go to the break room, water cooler, outside for a smoke, etc. and now social media is how people take a break and connect with friends.  People need to connect - some more than others.  Your goal as a leader is to set some parameters for all your employees regarding acceptable behavior and breaks at work.  


Addressing Your Fears
The number one biggest complaint I hear regarding the use of social media at work is it wastes time.  Seriously?  That's all you've got?  There are people that abuse every perk at work.  There are people that are never on social media but spend four hours a day going from office to office just chatting.  Social media is no different.  As leaders, we have to get more comfortable with managing by what gets accomplished rather than by how many hours I saw you sitting in your seat working (and not using social media).  Gen. Y expects their work to be based on accomplishment of tasks and they have a tendency to be very fast.  If you have an employee abusing time at work and not getting the job done, whether it is because they spend too much time chatting or too much time on social media, address it.  But don't punish every one in the office because you don't want to address one person's performance.  

 “What’s the ROI of your Mom?”

~ Gary Vaynerchuk, Crush It, in response to the question “What’s the ROI of Social Media?”

Need More Time at Work? Develop Your People!

As a leader, your primary responsibility is to execute on the goals of the organization while inspiring your team members to excellence.


Some leaders seem to get confused and think they are personally responsible for executing on the goals so they work extremely long hours while their team members put in minimal effort and have minimal motivation.  Your goal should be to develop your team members to the point that they don't need you.


"What??!! You ask!  Don't need me?  Then I won't have a job! "


This way of thinking is amazing to me.  There are many, many leaders who seem to believe if they impart too much knowledge on an employee that makes them (i.e. the leader) less valuable.  Let me provide an alternative perspective.


If you are THAT good as a leader, so good that your people are developing, growing, thriving, passionate, energized, and capable, don't you think your organization is going to want to find another role for you?  I can tell you it is a rare leader that is that good.  If you accomplish this goal, there will be no shortage of opportunities for you.


The question then becomes how do I develop my people?  And following is a very brief list of how to get started.

1.  Involve them in the process.  Ask your employees what tasks they would like to be doing.  Ask them where they would like to be professionally in five years. And then set your sights on finding a way to help them get there.
2.  Utilize alternative work assignments.  Projects and different tasks are an excellent way to develop others.
3.  Let go.  This is a big one.  In order to develop others you have to give some of your work up.  Delegate more.  Quit trying to do it all.  Let them make a few mistakes (within reason of course) and focus on learning from them.  

If you're not making mistakes, then you're not doing anything.
 I'm positive that a doer makes mistakes.

John Wooden

4.  Encourage your employees to take on more than they know they can.  You are the leader and part of your job is to bring out the best in your people.  This often requires bringing out the parts in them they don't even know exist.  Have confidence and challenge them to excel.  


By taking a few steps in the direction of development your life could become so much easier.  It does require you to let go, trust, and spend more time developing others than doing the work yourself.  


Mari

How Can I Help You? Treating Your Employees Like Customers

Back when I was a brand new leader I was fortunate enough to work for a company that believed strongly in leadership development.  I had the opportunity to attend many great training sessions and being an avid learner, was in the bookstore purchasing every new leadership book as soon as it was on the shelf.  There was one thing that stuck with me even to this day and I tend to notice it immediately in other leaders.  


Your Primary Objective as a Leader
Let me make sure we are on the same page to start this blog post.  If you are in a leadership position for an organization, your primary responsible is to Lead others.  Not to attend meetings.  Not to shuffle paper and respond to the 100 emails in the inbox.  Those things are important too, don't get me wrong.  And believe me when I say I've been in middle management and understand the competing demands.  That doesn't change the fact however, that your primary responsibility is to lead, guide, and direct others.  


If your employees are hesitant to come to you with issues, thoughts, ideas, or concerns because you always seem like you are running around with your hair on fire and don't have time for them, then you aren't doing your job.  Because, first and foremost, your job is to lead others.  That doesn't mean you have to drop everything each time Jack shows up at your door to tattle on Joe.  But it does mean the employees are your top priority and they should know without a doubt that this is the case.  


Implementing an Attitude of Outstanding Service

A long long time ago (okay, maybe not that long ago), I was creating a new department within an organization. I knew that providing excellent internal customer service was the only way our department would be accepted in this organization.  The mantra of our team was "How can I help you?" whenever we spoke to a customer on the phone or in person.  This was unusual for this manufacturing facility and it set us apart.  I watched our customers gain trust and respect for us by starting our conversations with this question.  


But I was soooooo busy, running like a crazy person from meeting to meeting, responding to voice mails as I ran to the next meeting.  And I was a major task master so there was nothing more gratifying to me than to mark another item off my to do list.  


The Tipping Point
Thank goodness something clicked one day as one of my employees apologized for bothering me.  I realized this team was the reason for our success and didn't they deserve at least the same respect and attentiveness from me as I demanded we provide our customers?  This is when I started making a conscious effort to put down my pen, phone, paper, and thoughts whenever one of them popped their head in the door.  Instead of my previous constant panic state I greeted them with a smile and a "How can I help you?"  In hindsight, that time was a blip in my day and I looked forward to seeing all of them and helping in any way I could.  What if we all treated our employees at least as well as we treat our customers (whether internal or external)?  It's worth a try anyway.  

Middle Management - Not All it's Cracked Up To Be

It seems to me the group of leaders in the most need of development, mentoring, and coaching are those that are stuck right in the middle - mid-level managers.  Most organizations seem to know the front line supervisors need training so they place a lot of effort in making sure that group of people know what they are doing.  And Sr. Executives appear to have a plethora of opportunities to attend mini-MBA programs, executive leadership training sessions, and have an executive coach assigned.  But the mid-level managers seem to get lost in the shuffle and/or stuck in an era.


What I mean by stuck in an era is mid-level managers often get stuck in the era in which they first became supervisors.  So, if they started supervising in the 60's, 70's, or even 80's - they likely learned that the command and control type of leadership was the only way to get performance.  They are often still trying to use that style of leadership and unless they are in the military, that probably isn't working out so well with our current generation of employees.  This group of managers may take a class every now and then but they are reluctant to change their approach to leadership.


Mid-level managers also get lost in the shuffle.  They get ignored as far as development goes.  Sr. Level leaders believe these people have already been trained, have experience, and know what they are doing which is somewhat true.  First level supervisors are looking up to this group for mentoring and guidance and they aren't getting it themselves so they are passing on information they learned 20 years ago which may not be so relevant today.  The reality is this group is often ignored, not exposed to the latest leadership theories or benefit of coaching and mentoring.  And they often have the most difficult job - the delicate balance between managing the politics and job demands of the organization.


It would seem to me organizations would benefit by making this group of people the target of ensuring the leadership philosophies of the organization are embraced.  Think of the influence of this group of people - they are responsible for mentoring your next generation of leaders (first line supervisors).  Shouldn't this be the group of people the company invests most heavily in developing?


And if you are reading this and you are a mid-level manager, what are you doing to learn and grow more so you can be the best leader you can be?  Are you reading current literature regarding leadership?  Are you requesting training and or coaching?  Have you asked someone who exemplifies great leadership skills to mentor you?  This is your career after all, what are you doing to be the best you can be?

What Makes A Good Leader?

A former colleague of mine recently requested a recommendation on LinkedIn.  This colleague worked as a leader while I was the person responsible for coaching and developing leaders.  In writing the recommendation I couldn't help but reflect on the positive characteristics of this person as well as what makes a leader great.  


When I think of a great leader, first and foremost I have to ask "was anyone willing to follow?"  Regardless of the level of charisma and IQ, EQ, or whatever quotient we want to measure, if nobody is willing to follow, one can't be very effective can they?


That being said, Leadership is not a title and it's not dictated by one's pay grade.  We all know excellent leaders that are not in the role officially and terrible "leaders" with the right title.  It's also not based on likability although that certainly helps.  And unfortunately, it takes a different set of characteristics for a leader to be great in various situations.  For example, an acquisition or merger requires a more decisive, charismatic leader than a stable, sustaining environment.  It's possible for someone to be an excellent leader in one environment and terrible in another.  Lastly, the required characteristics also depend on the organizational culture, requirements of the role, and the business climate in which they will work.  


That being said, there are some characteristics that transcend all of the aforementioned variables.  They seem to work regardless of the situation.  Those are the characteristics I will focus on for now.  And they are . . . (drum roll please)

• An effective communicator
• A respected influencer
• A positive "can do, get it done, are we lucky to have this problem, and I'm willing to help you in any way" attitude.
• The confidence to make decisions (even if they end up being the wrong decision)
• The courage to lead (even if you are really scared to death)
• The conviction to do the right thing - for the business, stockholders, industry, environment, and employees.
• The wisdom to know that no matter how much you already know, you don't know it all and you have valuable resources that can help.  

So, this gives you a starting point.  I could elaborate on each of these characteristics and will in future posts but for now, if you are reading this in hopes of becoming a better leader, read and learn everything you can about each of these characteristics.  

Being an effective communicator is listed first for a reason.  If you can’t articulate your vision, expectations, and limitations in a compelling, inspiring way, it’s difficult for others to even know what you want, much less to get excited about it.  I understand public speaking is a great fear for many people.  And many leaders are rarely required to speak publicly.  However, the practice of learning to speak publicly forces one to learn how to articulate their thoughts more clearly and concisely.  When you take a public speaking class you are not only learning how to get over the fear of standing in front of group, you are learning how to organize your thoughts in a clear, direct, and powerful way.  This is a skill that will take you far professionally.  You will find yourself able to communicate better in every part of your life – personally, in meetings, and in front of your own team.  You will begin to realize that minutes count and if you don’t capture the other person’s attention in the first few seconds, you will miss your opportunity.  And as a bonus, you will overcome a fear and isn’t courage one of the other items listed above? 

The attitude should be self-explanatory.  You should exemplify the attitude you expect to see in others.   It's unfortunate that this is a characteristic I rarely see in the workplace.  

I'll be covering confidence and courage in another post but I do want to touch on the conviction to do the right thing,  The reality is, leadership is tough.  You often have the power to do things that others cannot.  That power can take people down a dangerous path as we see every time we turn on the news.  The conviction to do the right thing is one of the characteristics that will set you apart.  If with every decision you make, you first ask yourself these questions, you will be well on your way to doing the right thing.

Is this best for the company?

Is this best for the people in which I lead?

Is this best for the industry and/or environment?

Is this best for our shareholders?

Of course there will be times you have a dilemma - something is right for the company but not the employees or some other such problem.  we can't cover each of those situations here but you'll find more on the topic in the decision making post I'm writing.

The last bullet item is key to effective leadership.  The leader that continues to learn is the leader that continues to be inspired and full of ideas.  It is also the leader that is better equipped to develop others.  There are so many ways you can continue your development.  Read a book.  Listen to an audio book while you work out in the morning or in your car as you commute.  Attend a seminar or a public speaking class.  Get a mentor.  Take time to talk about development with your peers.  Ask your employees how you can be a better leader.  Hire a coach that will give you honest, open feedback (hey, I can help you with that one).

the most important thing is to take a step in the right direction - just one step.  If you start with this list, you will be well on your way! 

You'll Get More Of What You Focus On

It's not uncommon for leaders to ask the question "Why do I have to reward and recognize my employees?  Nobody has to recognize me for doing a good job - I just do it." 

Newsflash - maybe that's why you're the leader.  

Everyone isn't self-motivated and many of those who are . . . . . get promoted to uhmmmm, management.  That would be you.


The reality is when it comes to performance, you'll get more of what you focus on. 


It's kind of like how you'll manage what you measure.  Same theory, different application.  Managers tend to focus all their energy (after getting the never ending to do list done) on poor performance.  They spend their time focused on those not performing and ignore those that are performing.  The low performers get the face time as well as keep you up at night while you try to figure out how to "fix" them.  Managers hover, cajole, encourage, berate, and basically give all their attention to the poor performer.  

All the while the high performers, the ones doing all the work, are ignored on the premise of "I don't have to worry about them."  The atmosphere eventually becomes something like "If guess if the boss isn't talking to me I must be doing okay."  

Eventually the high performers lose interest because they aren't cared about and the result is more poor performance.  


A Better Approach
I'd like to propose an alternative solution for poor performers.  How about we address the performance problem and pay close attention to incremental progress in the right direction.  When we see even the tiniest progress try recognizing that progress.  You get more of what you focus on .  Focus on what is going right instead of what is wrong.  


Here is an example. John is not making his productivity goal.  You talk to John, clearly articulate the expectation as well as consequences, create a short term goal together.  John increases his productivity the following week but still doesn't quite meet the goal.  Instead of "John, you still didn't meet the goal!!!!!!" how about "Great work John!  You increased your productivity by 10%.  Awesome!  I bet you can increase it by another 10% next week, what do you think?"


Let's try another one.  Mary has a tendency to be short with customers.  You talk to her and clearly articulate your expectations.  You provide specific examples regarding how to deal with angry customers and have her role play with you.  The following week you see Mary dealing with an angry customer and you can see she is biting her tongue and using every ounce of self restraint she has in her.  She isn't overly friendly but you notice she remains polite and doesn't lose her cool.  After the customer leaves call Mary in and celebrate her victory.  Acknowledge that you know how hard that must have been for her and you are so proud of her.  Yes, you are right - it is her job but it's also your job to keep people motivated so they do their job well.  This is a new behavior for Mary.  You get more of what you focus on.  If you want to see more of this positive behavior in Mary - focus on her positives.  

This approach works both ways.  Want more absenteeism?  Focus on being absent.  Want more people to show up on time?  Recognize those that show up on time.  

Let's not overlook the high performers.  These are the people deserving of your time and energy.  They should be the ones you are praising on a routine basis.  If you continue to ignore them, their motivation may decrease as well.


As a bonus - this works at home too.  Do you wish your teenager would take the trash out without you nagging him/her.  Then pay attention to the times he does it on his own.  Instead of the sarcastic "Wow, I can't believe you actually took out the trash without my telling you too" you might try a sincere "I really appreciate you taking the trash out.  Thank you."  Even if it only happens once a month - recognize the positive because you will get more of what you focus on.  


Look for other posts on reward and recognition to learn more about how to maximize performance.  Remember - you get more of what you focus on.  

Motivating Others? - It all Starts with You

If you wonder why your people aren't motivated, First, take a look in the mirror. Do you look like this? 

If you wonder why people seem so unhappy, ask yourself first how happy you are at work. You are responsible for setting the bar and always being on your game. It is a tough task but this is where it starts. Before you can start addressing the performance problems of your employees, ask yourself a few questions first. 

1. Why do you lead? What do you get out of it? 

2. What satisfaction do you gain from being in a leadership position? 

3. How passionate are you about leading people? Just because you own the place doesn't mean you are the best leader of the people. And just because you were a really good individual contributor doesn't mean you rock at management.  

4. Do you have the necessary skill set to be more than a manager - to truly be a leader of people? 

5. Are you continually developing your leadership skills? 

6. Are you asking for feedback regarding your performance? 


Once you have taken a look in the mirror and are confident you are leading by example, you can feel good about having those difficult conversations with your employees.  And you can check out other posts within this blog to learn just how to do that!

Dealing With An Angry Employee

As managers most of us hate dealing with the dreaded emotional outburst at work.  To be honest, we hate dealing with it at home too but figure we can either go to another room or just wait it out and tomorrow will be better.  The problem is, in the work place, that emotional, or in this case angry person is impacting and affecting every one around them.  We can't allow it in the workplace.  Allowing angry outbursts by one employee at work is like inviting it from the entire team.  No walking into another room and hoping they will cool down.  The buck stops with you so it's time to figure out how to deal with it.  


First let's discuss what NOT to do.

• Don't say "Calm Down" - Do you really think the angry person had no idea they were upset and merely needed you to point it out to them to calm them down?  All this does is make them more angry.  More than likely you will get something like "Calm Down??!!! How could I possibly calm down??!!!" spoken in a very loud and passionate tone.  
• Don't raise your voice and get in their face to show them who is the boss.  This is not a testosterone match and it is certainly not the time to assert your title and role in the company.  Unless you plan to take it outside and duke it out - this approach is not going to help the situation at all.  
• Don't walk away from them.  This action will simply make them angrier, they will follow you, and yell even more.  It's fuel to the fire if you will.  

Now that we know what not to do, let's see what can be done.  The first consideration for you as manager is to understand a few things about emotional outbursts.  This includes all emotional outbursts - crying, yelling, anger, frustration, and even silence.  If you can take a step back and first understand that the outburst probably has less to do with what just resulted in the outbursts and more to do with lots of other stuff.  The outburst is usually a culmination of lots of "stuff" - from home and work.  I often hear people say things like "I can't believe they got so upset about that."  The reality is they probably didn't.  They are probably upset because of the flat tire they got on their way to work this morning, the argument they had with AAA because it took them to long to fix the flat, the $150 the repair shop charged them for a hole in that tire, and finally, because you had the audacity to ask them to get busy and quit talking.  Once you understand there is likely more to the emotion, it becomes easier to deal with it.  

That being said, here are some tips to dealing with the angry outburst.

• Remain calm.  I don't care what they say or how loud they get if you remain calm, they will eventually get there too. Keep your voice and demeanor calm.  If you were sitting, remain sitting.  If you were standing, sit down.  Make sure your tone and your body language demonstrates complete calm and self-control.  
• The middle of the angry outburst is not the time to deal with their emotional misconduct.  Save the discussion about how inappropriate their current behavior is until after they calm down.  
• Acknowledge the emotion without giving them permission to continue.  "I know it must be very upsetting to X.  Help me understand how we can fix this."  
• Suggest you both take a break and reconvene in 10 minutes.  This is different than walking out of the room.  This is more like "I think it might do us both good to take a break from this for a few minutes.  Let's come back in 30 minutes when we have both had a chance to think about it. This doesn't mean you let them leave and never discuss the incident again.  If you don't address this behavior at some point, you will see it again.
• In this day and age, it's important to consider your safety.  If at any point you do not feel safe, ask the person to leave immediately.  If they don't leave, you should.  
• Once the employee has calmed down, be willing to listen.  Let them talk out their frustration.  Listen sincerely.  Seek to reach a resolution.  And once they are calm, maybe even the next day, discuss how inappropriate their behavior was and how it will not be tolerated again.  You might offer employee assistance too because who knows what kinds of things they are trying to deal with that are spilling over into work.   

PERFORMANCE REVIEWS - ARE THEY A WASTE OF TIME?

 I get this question a lot - do we really need to do performance reviews?  Do we really need to go through this very lengthy process of giving feedback?  Does anyone really care about performance reviews?

The answer a resounding "it depends."


Performance reviews serve the purpose of providing a formal process in which to deliver feedback.  This is done for many reasons, a few of which follow:


1.  To force leaders to deliver feedback to employees.


2.  To provide a process so employees are aware of their performance expectations and limitations.


3.  To provide a process to determine merit increases (pay for performance).


4.  To document poor performance (terminations, lay-offs, litigation).


5.  To force clear communication at least once a year (or even twice).


That probably isn't an all-inclusive list but you get the idea.  Now, back to my response - "it depends."

If your leaders are very good at routinely giving feedback (both positive and negative), consistently sit down and have one-on-one conversations with their employees, clearly articulate their expectations and goals, and address and document poor performance in a timely and consistent manner, that would cover all the items listed above except the pay.  There are all sorts of different ways to provide monetary rewards to employees and much would depend on the size of your organization and the budget available.

The reality is most leaders are not necessarily good communicators.  Implementing a performance review process doesn't guarantee they will become good communicators but it does increase the odds.  Most people have been the recipient of the poorly delivered performance review and we all know that is no more effective than not having a review at all.  A performance review process simply increases the odds.  It will only be as effective as the reviewer.  It is your job as a leader to put the time, energy, and thought into the review that ensures it is effective.

Help! I Have To Deliver My First Performance Review

It is that time of year again - the end of the year and time for the dreaded performance review season.  Some organizations do an amazing job at providing very detailed instructions regarding the "discussion."  Other organizations . . . . not so much.  Unfortunately, it often ends up like many of the Dilbert cartoons.  For those of you that are new to the leadership role or just don't feel confident with those dreaded employee meetings - this article is for you.  

What is the Purpose of a Performance Review Anyway?

Performance Reviews are simply a documented feedback process.  It's an opportunity for you to have a formal conversation with an employee regarding their specific performance and opportunity for improvement.  To alleviate some of the fears you may be having just remember to have a heart for their success.  Regardless of whether the employee is a top performer, your worst nightmare, or your average "Steady Eddy," as their leader, your heart should be for their success.  Philosophically speaking, if your job is to lead others, if they fail then really you fail don't you? 

Clearly Articulate Your Expectations

One thing I learned long ago that re-framed my perspective is "others don't necessarily think like I think (thank goodness!) and they can't read my mind (probably another thank goodness!)."  The performance review meeting is an opportunity for you to clearly articulate your expectations of your employee. Leaders often have the mis-perception their employees know what they think of them and how they are doing.  Newsflash - they can't read your mind.  

Some performance reviews are easy so I'm guessing if you are reading this it's not because you are concerned about the easy ones.  The easy ones are the those with your top performers.  You have nothing but glowing remarks to give them and you wish you had ten more employees just like them.  Be thankful for those employees and make sure you still provide them with opportunities to improve so they don't become complacent.  I'll talk about development in a different post but be sure you pay attention to your top performers.  

Reviewing Your Low Performers
As for the low performers and difficult employees - let me reiterate,

"have a heart for their success."  

Clear, Concise, and Direct Feedback
They may not be performing well right now and your primary objective is to fix that.  This is where leadership becomes difficult.  If we all had nothing but great employees what fun would that be?  Your job with the difficult employee is to provide them very specific feedback regarding your expectations and the behaviors that need to change.  The word "behavior" is key here.  It is imperative you break down what is happening into very specific behaviors.  For example, "your unapproachable" is vague.  The fact that I don't make eye contact with others, don't say "good morning" when passing my colleagues in the hall, and make no contributions during meetings outlines specific behaviors that I can change.  Too many leaders are vague when delivering feedback and the employee doesn't know what they need to do differently.  Just because you have an idea in your head regarding what "unapproachable" means, maybe I don't have the same idea.  And more importantly maybe I never knew it was a job requirement.  I'll be writing some different posts regarding how to handle specific behaviors and even how to handle specific emotions with an employee during the review or during any other time but for now, let me just give you a few tips (the cliff notes version if you will).

Meeting Tips

1.  Have a heart for the employee's success.

2.  Focus on behaviors that need to change.  This is important.  It's not about changing them as an individual, it's about specific behaviors.

3.  Schedule the meeting in advance so the employee can prepare mentally and emotionally.

4.  Provide clear and concise feedback.  Don't beat around the bush, especially with the difficult employee.  They are not likely to read between the lines and they should never walk out of this meeting unsure of the feedback.

5.  Avoid using the sandwich technique (sandwiching the bad feedback between two good comments).  They know what you are doing.  

6.  Make sure you have this meeting in a private location.  In the world of cube land it seems nothing is confidential.  This is not a public meaning.  

7.  Regardless of the situation, treat the employee with respect at all times (even if they don't treat your the same way).  

8.  Anticipate the reaction and prepare accordingly.  If you know "Sally" has a tendency to blow up, anticipate that and prepare for how you will handle it.  

9.  Allow them time to react to the feedback.  This may take a few minutes or it may mean you need to follow up the next day.  

10.  Be professional at all times.  Take the high road here.  When "Robert" blames you for his inability to meet production requirements and/or threatens to go to your boss with his issues, that's when your leadership becomes even more important.  Remain calm, professional, and in control of the conversation.  Don't allow an employee to divert you away from the task at hand.  

11.  Thank them.  Regardless of the outcome of the meeting, thank them for their time, work effort, and their contribution to the team.  Thanking someone is just common courtesy and your employee's will appreciate it.  

If I could encourage leaders to learn more in any one single area it would be the area of communication.  Learn to communicate effectively.  Learn how to articulate your message.  Ask people for feedback regarding your communication.  Learn how to read non-verbal and verbal cues.  Mastering the art of effective communication will take you far in your leadership journey.