Have We Forgotten Common Courtesy in the Workplace?

I'm amazed recently at a few organizations in which I have consulted in which common courtesy seems to have been thrown out the window.  I was in a meeting with a leader that was interrupted not once, not twice, but three times in less than 30 minutes.  

The first person apologized at least five times for interrupting yet continued to ask their questions of the person I was meeting with.  Was it a fire?  No.  Was it an urgent question with a deadline of less than an hour?  No.  Was this leader typically inaccessible and hard to catch?  No.  Although the first person that interrupted was apologetic their actions spoke volumes.  They obviously felt like their issue was more important than my scheduled meeting.  They also must have thought their time was more valuable than mine (only child maybe?).  And they evidently were not taught good manners growing up.  

I have to give the second person credit - they saw someone in the room and turned around and walked out.  

The third person didn't even pretend to be apologetic and just barged in and asked their questions.  Again, it wasn't urgent, the building was not on fire, and it could have easily waited for 30 minutes (maybe even 30 days).  

What has happened to professionalism and common courtesy?  Do we not think it applies at work?  Do you do this to your employees?  Come on people - respect, courtesy, and manners don't stop at the parking lot.  Let's not get so busy we think we don't have time to be humane.  

Work Doesn't Have to Be So Serious - Have You Laughed Today?

Yes, I know business is serious business (hah, get it?).  You have metrics to make, quotas to hit, competitors gobbling up your profit share, and the economy is wreaking havoc on all of it.  I know it's serious.  And I know your job is tough, stressful, and demanding.  But if you can't laugh during the day at something I have to ask, "What's the point in working so hard if you can't find time to enjoy yourself just a little bit?"  If you can't find any joy in what you do each day, why on earth would you continue to do it.  

I ask this question for two reasons.  The first is for you but then I have to also wonder if you are a "fun hater" at work.  Are your employees afraid to laugh when you are in the office?  Do you think if they are laughing then they can't possibly be working?  Seriously, are you a "fun hater?"  


Just because it's "work" doesn't have to mean you can't have fun.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating everyone put a clown suit or become stand up comedians at work (although that might be interesting).  I love it when both of my children are in the house visiting.  I love it because there is so much joy and laughter.  I can't wait to get home and not only because I want to see my kids but because being around that much happiness makes me happy.  


What if we could feel that way at work?  What if there was so much joy and laughter that it didn't even feel like work.  I have worked in intensive care units where doctors and nurses knew how to laugh in spite of the seriousness that revolved around them.  If people that care for the sick and dying know how to have fun at work, I can guess a lot of you don't have very good excuses for why you can't loosen up a little.  Did you know  laughter is a great stress reliever and has also been shown to heal.  Here is a great article regarding the amazing power of laughter.


http://www.nutritionresearchcenter.org/healthnews/can-laughing-your-ass-off-heal-you/


If laughter has the same physiological effect as exercise, it means we will thing more clearly, problem solve more effectively, have sharper mental clarity, and be more productive.  Hmmm, I'm thinking more laughter in he work place might be a good thing.  


Have you laughed today?

Ethics at Work

We hear a lot in the media these days about unethical behavior at work.  There are the big stories of CEOs and top executives involved in stealing money from the company and/or shareholders.  And then there are the day to day issues such as "inappropriate" relationships, wasting company time, lying, stealing office supplies, treating others disrespectfully, and not walking the talk.  Somehow all those issues often get rolled into "ethics."  Hopefully by reading that last sentence you realize there is a lot of gray in the word.

According to Dictionary.com, the term simply means a set of moral principles.  The interesting thing is when everyone thinks their ethics (or moral principles) are the same as everyone else.  The reality, as we can see quite easily by looking around at our society, is we all have our own set of moral principles. 


Here is what this means for you as a supervisor.  Your employees do not necessarily have the same set of moral principles that you have or that you think they should have.  You can't say something like "I expect you to be ethical at work" and expect them to have a clear understanding of what that means to you.  Let me provide a few examples.


We all know stealing is wrong, right?  If that's the case I'm going to assume that if I load up a box of office supplies from my office and take them home so I don't have to buy school supplies this year, that would probably be stealing.  But what about this - what if I'm spending 2 1/2 hours a day wasting time (as some sources indicate is the average time wasted at work) at work by taking breaks, personal phone calls, chit-chatting with anyone that will listen?  Is that stealing?  What if I only take 15 minutes to chat with a co-worker, is that stealing?  I hope you can see how this can become gray very quickly.  


The same goes for any other moral principal you might have - whether it be honesty (do you really want me to tell you that you look like you've gained 20 pounds), demonstrating respect for others (how do you do that exactly?), and the list goes on.  


We know full well that others do not have the same ethical standards as we do, otherwise we wouldn't have people in leadership positions taking pictures of their anatomy and sending it via their phone to others.  This doesn't mean you need to detail out every thing you expect your employees to do or not do however, it does mean you can't expect to be able to use a catch all phrase of "Be ethical" and know others will fully understand what that means for you.  


Mari

How Are You Handling Conflict?

Conflict is a natural part of the working with other people.  Put a bunch of people with different thoughts, ideas, viewpoints, educations, and experiences together and sooner or later, you can count on some conflict.  Conflict is not the problem. 


 Actually, conflict is a good thing.  Without it, you would have an entire organization of something that closely resembles "The Stepford Wives."


And although having a group of "Stepford Wives" may sound like a wonderful idea at the moment, having an entire group of people that think exactly alike is not likely to keep your company competitive, creative, or energized.  

"Where all think alike, no one thinks very much."

-Walter Lippmann

Let's take a look at how you and/or your employees are dealing with conflict.  As a leader, a huge part of your job is to navigate the political waters at work in a professional and tactful way.  You need to contribute your ideas and viewpoints but not shut others down in the process.   You want to make sure when you have conflict, it doesn't look like this: 

On the other hand, dealing with conflict by going into your office and singing "laaalalalalaalal, I can't hear you" probably isn't the best option either.  

The goal is to find a good balance between the two.  A skilled person in this area will step up to conflict when necessary.  They will read the situation, body language, mood of the room, quickly and be able to adapt accordingly.  A person good at dealing with conflict is also a good listener.  It's not all about you after all.  And maybe most importantly, the person that is good at dealing with conflict is good at finding a common place to start negotiating.  They are good at saying things like "We are in agreement on this point." They don't put the other person on the defensive and instead, validate what they have heard and the reasoning behind it.  

If you aren't sure how well you deal with conflict at work, ask others that you trust.  If you know you don't deal with conflict well, try to define which part you struggle with.  Are you too emotional and get so angry you can't talk?  Does the idea of raising an opposing view make you queasy?  Obviously, this is a very difficult competency to master.  It is important for you to note that your ability or lack of will affect your promotability and ability to lead others.  Take a class, hire a coach, read a book, or watch those that appear to be very good at this.  It will be well worth your time to master this skill and will likely impact every part of your life.  

Mari

Is Social Media Your Friend at Work?

The good and bad thing about using social media in the workplace is sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Youtube are powerful sources of communication regarding what your company is all about.  It's really just word of mouth on steroids.  

“How can you squander even one more day not taking advantage of the greatest shifts of our generation? How dare you settle for less when the world has made it so easy for you to be remarkable?”

~ Seth Godin, Seth’s Blog

I find it interesting how companies are reacting to this challenge.  Some take the hierarchical approach and have their IT department block all access to any social media sites.  Not sure what rational they are giving the people other than it wastes time.  And on the other side of the spectrum we have companies that see, "Please, go ahead and take a break from your project to post something on Facebook.  No problem."  Those in the middle  know their people are on these sites but ignore it and hope it goes away.  


The reality is you can't really stop your people from socializing while at work.  It's kind of a generational thing.  Boomers like to get coffee and hang out in the break room.  Gen X and Gen Y check with friends online.  If you try to stop it at work, they will just get on their phones and do it that way.  Instead of focusing on the lost productivity of social media in the workplace, let's talk about the benefits.  

Be authentic and organic. It can’t be forced or it won’t work. And most importantly, have fun.

-Richard Branson, Virgin (on using social media)

Social Media Is a Powerful Sales & Marketing Tool
If social media is word of mouth on steroids, wouldn't it be a good idea to let your employees "sell" your products and company online?  Of course you can't dictate that your employees are only selling your products when they are online but it stands to reason they are like to post about their employer at some point.  


Social Media Is a Powerful Recruiting Tool
If your good employees are online talking about what a great job they have, their friends will be interested.  Your good employees are your most powerful asset, as long as you don't try to stifle and confine them.  


Social Media Could Hold You More Accountable As a Leader
I have to wonder if some leaders are so averse to social media because they are afraid their employees are talking about them online.  Social Media holds us all accountable to be great leaders.  Just think of it this way.  If you are a great leader, your employees are going to talk about that on social media.  That could help you recruit others, it could help your career because word will get out about you, it could even result in other opportunities.  In this day and age, your future is largely dependent upon people's perception of you.  A great number of employers first conduct a Google search on any prospective employee.  How great would it be if someone Google searched you and found comments related to what a great human being and leader you are to work for.  


On the other hand, if you have a tendency to be unethical, micro-managing, tyrannical, and a bully, the use of social media will hold you accountable - guaranteed.  


Social Media Is A Different Version of the Traditional Break Room
The reality is, people need a break from the stress and monotony of the day.  We used to go to the break room, water cooler, outside for a smoke, etc. and now social media is how people take a break and connect with friends.  People need to connect - some more than others.  Your goal as a leader is to set some parameters for all your employees regarding acceptable behavior and breaks at work.  


Addressing Your Fears
The number one biggest complaint I hear regarding the use of social media at work is it wastes time.  Seriously?  That's all you've got?  There are people that abuse every perk at work.  There are people that are never on social media but spend four hours a day going from office to office just chatting.  Social media is no different.  As leaders, we have to get more comfortable with managing by what gets accomplished rather than by how many hours I saw you sitting in your seat working (and not using social media).  Gen. Y expects their work to be based on accomplishment of tasks and they have a tendency to be very fast.  If you have an employee abusing time at work and not getting the job done, whether it is because they spend too much time chatting or too much time on social media, address it.  But don't punish every one in the office because you don't want to address one person's performance.  

 “What’s the ROI of your Mom?”

~ Gary Vaynerchuk, Crush It, in response to the question “What’s the ROI of Social Media?”

Are We Having Fun Yet?

Life is serious business.  And business is even more serious (if that's even possible).  Do you think anyone really wants to spend 8, 10, or 12 hours a day someplace that's boring, frustrating, and/or the people have no sense of humor whatsoever?  As a leader, when you hear laughter at work, that should be music to your ears.  And as a human being, lie is short, and if you aren't having fun at work, you might want to reconsider your approach to work.  

I never did a day's work in my life. It was all fun.

Thomas A. Edison

Are You Having Fun?

Let's face it, you are the leader.  If you aren't having fun, it's likely nobody else is either.  It kind of reminds me of that saying "when mama's not happy, nobody's happy."  You are responsible for the mood at work just like stay at home moms are largely responsible for the mood in the home.  

A business has to be involving, it has to be fun,

 and it has to exercise your creative instincts.

Richard Branson

Just because you may not be having fun right now doesn't mean you have to switch jobs (although that is one option).  The great thing about life is we can choose to have fun right where we are.  And contrary to popular belief, we can have fun and still be highly productive. Some tips for having more fun:

• Lighten up a little and let others tease you.
• Do something that makes you happy during the day.  I mean really makes you happy.  More like joyous.  
• Laugh at yourself and your own stupid mistakes.
• Take a mental break and focus on a place you've been when you were most at peace.
• Do something for your team members that you know would make them happy.

Sometimes in our quest to make more money, meet the customer's demands, and make our productivity numbers, we lose sight of the human experience.  Don't forget to be human at work too.

Are Your Employees Having Fun?

When it comes to retention of great employees there is a mis-perception that it's all about money.  Throw more money at them and they'll stay.  Yet when you ask people why they are leaving it often has to do with the available opportunities and the environment.  We've all heard that people leave bosses not organizations.  That's not always true but there definitely is some truth to it.  And I don't know about you but I'm much more likely to stay someplace where I enjoy the atmosphere and the people.  


People want to laugh.  People need to laugh.  It's a great stress reliever and it's fun.  And most people are drawn to others that make them laugh.  I'm not suggesting you should allow your people to laugh all day but it may benefit you to create an environment that is fun, enthusiastic, and allows others to enjoy life just a bit.  Wouldn't we all be more interested in getting to work in the morning if we knew we were going to have fun with others while  working?  Hey, they might even want to stay longer! Fun and work no longer have to  be mutually exclusive.  As a matter of fact they shouldn't be.  


And hey if you have been so serious for so long that you don't even know how to have fun at work anymore, ask your employees - I'm sure they will be full of creative solutions for you.


Mari

Basic Change Management Communication in the Workplace

Lack of communication and/or poor communication is surely one of the biggest downfalls and most costly mistakes for many organizations.  I am constantly amazed at the number of new initiatives that get "rolled out" with little to no information and an email with instructions.  With the number of emails we get these days at work, it's no wonder people feel baffled, confused and frustrated.  We roll out initiatives and get frustrated at those that don't "embrace the change" when we didn't provide enough information to even understand the change.  We've somehow lost the art of caring about others and taking the time to explain the purpose and benefit of a new initiative.  


In our effort to get more done, we've forgotten that in order for others to help us accomplish an implementation of any kind we have to generate the value for that person.  Maybe we've forgotten the human side of the equation and taken on a dictatorial "change or die" attitude.

Whether it is changing an existing process or rolling out an entirely new system of some sort, there are basically four questions that you should make sure you are answering in your communication message.  Take just a few minutes to think about your message before communicating it and you will be amazed by the decreased confusion and frustration normally accompanying a change.  After the questions listed below, I've detailed out a viewpoint from the employee regarding each question.  Hopefully, reading it in first person will make it more real and personal. 

1. What's changing/happening?
2. Why is it happening?
3. How does it affect me?  Give me the truth.  Good/bad or indifferent. What do I need to do differently and/or what will the impact be to me?
4. What happens now?

1.  What's changing? Tell me what is changing or happening.  It may seem like common knowledge but it's an excellent way to set the stage.  Don't sugar coat it.  And don't avoid telling me.  What I don't know I'll make up so it's best if you just give it to me straight.  Let me give you an example:  Let's say business has slowed down a lot and I don't have enough to do.  You have been thinking about adding to my job role but are hesitant to talk to me about it because you think I'll be upset about it.  I can see business has slowed down and I'm no dummy so I figure you are about to lay me off.  Consequently, I look for a new job.  In reality, you needed me in my role to get you through this slump.  What you should have done in this case was just have the conversation with me.  "Hey, you've probably noticed business has slowed down.  I feel confident it will pick back up.  You are a really important part of this business and I don't want to lose you.  Would you mind picking up the xyz responsibilities during this interim time?" Just tell me already.  

2.  Why is it happening?  Give me the cliff notes version of this.  I don't need to understand the five year history of why this decision was made but I do need to have a general understand.  And I might need more or less info than my buddy that I work with - we have different needs in that regard.  Start out with the basics and let me ask questions if I want more information.  Remember, I will make up information to fill in any gaps you leave so you are better off just telling me.

3. How does it affect me?  This is the most important point of all four of the questions provided. What I really want to know is "what about me?"  I want to know how this change will specifically impact me.  And if you don't know for sure, tell me that.  For example, if we are going to have layoffs, tell me that.  If you don't know if I will be laid off (or can't share it yet), tell me what you can tell me and then tell me when I can expect to hear more details.  I'm a grown up, I would much rather you be honest and straight with me that to find out from a co-worker or worst yet, the nightly news broadcast.  

4.  What happens now?  I really want to know what I need to do differently as a result of this change so I can help implement it.  If I don't need to do anything yet, tell me that and also tell me  when we will be talking about this change again.  I can't help you if I don't know the next steps so I need you to be clear in providing direction.  I don't have time to try to guess what you are trying to tell me so please be precise and articulate the next steps clearly.  

Just try it.  Write down the four questions and post them on your computer.  Every time you need to communicate to someone, think of those four questions and how you can utilize them in communicating more effectively.  And see if it doesn't result in a more response, receptive team that is better able to implement change.  

You'll Get More Of What You Focus On

It's not uncommon for leaders to ask the question "Why do I have to reward and recognize my employees?  Nobody has to recognize me for doing a good job - I just do it." 

Newsflash - maybe that's why you're the leader.  

Everyone isn't self-motivated and many of those who are . . . . . get promoted to uhmmmm, management.  That would be you.


The reality is when it comes to performance, you'll get more of what you focus on. 


It's kind of like how you'll manage what you measure.  Same theory, different application.  Managers tend to focus all their energy (after getting the never ending to do list done) on poor performance.  They spend their time focused on those not performing and ignore those that are performing.  The low performers get the face time as well as keep you up at night while you try to figure out how to "fix" them.  Managers hover, cajole, encourage, berate, and basically give all their attention to the poor performer.  

All the while the high performers, the ones doing all the work, are ignored on the premise of "I don't have to worry about them."  The atmosphere eventually becomes something like "If guess if the boss isn't talking to me I must be doing okay."  

Eventually the high performers lose interest because they aren't cared about and the result is more poor performance.  


A Better Approach
I'd like to propose an alternative solution for poor performers.  How about we address the performance problem and pay close attention to incremental progress in the right direction.  When we see even the tiniest progress try recognizing that progress.  You get more of what you focus on .  Focus on what is going right instead of what is wrong.  


Here is an example. John is not making his productivity goal.  You talk to John, clearly articulate the expectation as well as consequences, create a short term goal together.  John increases his productivity the following week but still doesn't quite meet the goal.  Instead of "John, you still didn't meet the goal!!!!!!" how about "Great work John!  You increased your productivity by 10%.  Awesome!  I bet you can increase it by another 10% next week, what do you think?"


Let's try another one.  Mary has a tendency to be short with customers.  You talk to her and clearly articulate your expectations.  You provide specific examples regarding how to deal with angry customers and have her role play with you.  The following week you see Mary dealing with an angry customer and you can see she is biting her tongue and using every ounce of self restraint she has in her.  She isn't overly friendly but you notice she remains polite and doesn't lose her cool.  After the customer leaves call Mary in and celebrate her victory.  Acknowledge that you know how hard that must have been for her and you are so proud of her.  Yes, you are right - it is her job but it's also your job to keep people motivated so they do their job well.  This is a new behavior for Mary.  You get more of what you focus on.  If you want to see more of this positive behavior in Mary - focus on her positives.  

This approach works both ways.  Want more absenteeism?  Focus on being absent.  Want more people to show up on time?  Recognize those that show up on time.  

Let's not overlook the high performers.  These are the people deserving of your time and energy.  They should be the ones you are praising on a routine basis.  If you continue to ignore them, their motivation may decrease as well.


As a bonus - this works at home too.  Do you wish your teenager would take the trash out without you nagging him/her.  Then pay attention to the times he does it on his own.  Instead of the sarcastic "Wow, I can't believe you actually took out the trash without my telling you too" you might try a sincere "I really appreciate you taking the trash out.  Thank you."  Even if it only happens once a month - recognize the positive because you will get more of what you focus on.  


Look for other posts on reward and recognition to learn more about how to maximize performance.  Remember - you get more of what you focus on.  

Dealing With An Angry Employee

As managers most of us hate dealing with the dreaded emotional outburst at work.  To be honest, we hate dealing with it at home too but figure we can either go to another room or just wait it out and tomorrow will be better.  The problem is, in the work place, that emotional, or in this case angry person is impacting and affecting every one around them.  We can't allow it in the workplace.  Allowing angry outbursts by one employee at work is like inviting it from the entire team.  No walking into another room and hoping they will cool down.  The buck stops with you so it's time to figure out how to deal with it.  


First let's discuss what NOT to do.

• Don't say "Calm Down" - Do you really think the angry person had no idea they were upset and merely needed you to point it out to them to calm them down?  All this does is make them more angry.  More than likely you will get something like "Calm Down??!!! How could I possibly calm down??!!!" spoken in a very loud and passionate tone.  
• Don't raise your voice and get in their face to show them who is the boss.  This is not a testosterone match and it is certainly not the time to assert your title and role in the company.  Unless you plan to take it outside and duke it out - this approach is not going to help the situation at all.  
• Don't walk away from them.  This action will simply make them angrier, they will follow you, and yell even more.  It's fuel to the fire if you will.  

Now that we know what not to do, let's see what can be done.  The first consideration for you as manager is to understand a few things about emotional outbursts.  This includes all emotional outbursts - crying, yelling, anger, frustration, and even silence.  If you can take a step back and first understand that the outburst probably has less to do with what just resulted in the outbursts and more to do with lots of other stuff.  The outburst is usually a culmination of lots of "stuff" - from home and work.  I often hear people say things like "I can't believe they got so upset about that."  The reality is they probably didn't.  They are probably upset because of the flat tire they got on their way to work this morning, the argument they had with AAA because it took them to long to fix the flat, the $150 the repair shop charged them for a hole in that tire, and finally, because you had the audacity to ask them to get busy and quit talking.  Once you understand there is likely more to the emotion, it becomes easier to deal with it.  

That being said, here are some tips to dealing with the angry outburst.

• Remain calm.  I don't care what they say or how loud they get if you remain calm, they will eventually get there too. Keep your voice and demeanor calm.  If you were sitting, remain sitting.  If you were standing, sit down.  Make sure your tone and your body language demonstrates complete calm and self-control.  
• The middle of the angry outburst is not the time to deal with their emotional misconduct.  Save the discussion about how inappropriate their current behavior is until after they calm down.  
• Acknowledge the emotion without giving them permission to continue.  "I know it must be very upsetting to X.  Help me understand how we can fix this."  
• Suggest you both take a break and reconvene in 10 minutes.  This is different than walking out of the room.  This is more like "I think it might do us both good to take a break from this for a few minutes.  Let's come back in 30 minutes when we have both had a chance to think about it. This doesn't mean you let them leave and never discuss the incident again.  If you don't address this behavior at some point, you will see it again.
• In this day and age, it's important to consider your safety.  If at any point you do not feel safe, ask the person to leave immediately.  If they don't leave, you should.  
• Once the employee has calmed down, be willing to listen.  Let them talk out their frustration.  Listen sincerely.  Seek to reach a resolution.  And once they are calm, maybe even the next day, discuss how inappropriate their behavior was and how it will not be tolerated again.  You might offer employee assistance too because who knows what kinds of things they are trying to deal with that are spilling over into work.