Dealing With An Angry Employee

As managers most of us hate dealing with the dreaded emotional outburst at work.  To be honest, we hate dealing with it at home too but figure we can either go to another room or just wait it out and tomorrow will be better.  The problem is, in the work place, that emotional, or in this case angry person is impacting and affecting every one around them.  We can't allow it in the workplace.  Allowing angry outbursts by one employee at work is like inviting it from the entire team.  No walking into another room and hoping they will cool down.  The buck stops with you so it's time to figure out how to deal with it.  


First let's discuss what NOT to do.

• Don't say "Calm Down" - Do you really think the angry person had no idea they were upset and merely needed you to point it out to them to calm them down?  All this does is make them more angry.  More than likely you will get something like "Calm Down??!!! How could I possibly calm down??!!!" spoken in a very loud and passionate tone.  
• Don't raise your voice and get in their face to show them who is the boss.  This is not a testosterone match and it is certainly not the time to assert your title and role in the company.  Unless you plan to take it outside and duke it out - this approach is not going to help the situation at all.  
• Don't walk away from them.  This action will simply make them angrier, they will follow you, and yell even more.  It's fuel to the fire if you will.  

Now that we know what not to do, let's see what can be done.  The first consideration for you as manager is to understand a few things about emotional outbursts.  This includes all emotional outbursts - crying, yelling, anger, frustration, and even silence.  If you can take a step back and first understand that the outburst probably has less to do with what just resulted in the outbursts and more to do with lots of other stuff.  The outburst is usually a culmination of lots of "stuff" - from home and work.  I often hear people say things like "I can't believe they got so upset about that."  The reality is they probably didn't.  They are probably upset because of the flat tire they got on their way to work this morning, the argument they had with AAA because it took them to long to fix the flat, the $150 the repair shop charged them for a hole in that tire, and finally, because you had the audacity to ask them to get busy and quit talking.  Once you understand there is likely more to the emotion, it becomes easier to deal with it.  

That being said, here are some tips to dealing with the angry outburst.

• Remain calm.  I don't care what they say or how loud they get if you remain calm, they will eventually get there too. Keep your voice and demeanor calm.  If you were sitting, remain sitting.  If you were standing, sit down.  Make sure your tone and your body language demonstrates complete calm and self-control.  
• The middle of the angry outburst is not the time to deal with their emotional misconduct.  Save the discussion about how inappropriate their current behavior is until after they calm down.  
• Acknowledge the emotion without giving them permission to continue.  "I know it must be very upsetting to X.  Help me understand how we can fix this."  
• Suggest you both take a break and reconvene in 10 minutes.  This is different than walking out of the room.  This is more like "I think it might do us both good to take a break from this for a few minutes.  Let's come back in 30 minutes when we have both had a chance to think about it. This doesn't mean you let them leave and never discuss the incident again.  If you don't address this behavior at some point, you will see it again.
• In this day and age, it's important to consider your safety.  If at any point you do not feel safe, ask the person to leave immediately.  If they don't leave, you should.  
• Once the employee has calmed down, be willing to listen.  Let them talk out their frustration.  Listen sincerely.  Seek to reach a resolution.  And once they are calm, maybe even the next day, discuss how inappropriate their behavior was and how it will not be tolerated again.  You might offer employee assistance too because who knows what kinds of things they are trying to deal with that are spilling over into work.