Motivating Others? - It all Starts with You

If you wonder why your people aren't motivated, First, take a look in the mirror. Do you look like this? 

If you wonder why people seem so unhappy, ask yourself first how happy you are at work. You are responsible for setting the bar and always being on your game. It is a tough task but this is where it starts. Before you can start addressing the performance problems of your employees, ask yourself a few questions first. 

1. Why do you lead? What do you get out of it? 

2. What satisfaction do you gain from being in a leadership position? 

3. How passionate are you about leading people? Just because you own the place doesn't mean you are the best leader of the people. And just because you were a really good individual contributor doesn't mean you rock at management.  

4. Do you have the necessary skill set to be more than a manager - to truly be a leader of people? 

5. Are you continually developing your leadership skills? 

6. Are you asking for feedback regarding your performance? 


Once you have taken a look in the mirror and are confident you are leading by example, you can feel good about having those difficult conversations with your employees.  And you can check out other posts within this blog to learn just how to do that!

Dealing With An Angry Employee

As managers most of us hate dealing with the dreaded emotional outburst at work.  To be honest, we hate dealing with it at home too but figure we can either go to another room or just wait it out and tomorrow will be better.  The problem is, in the work place, that emotional, or in this case angry person is impacting and affecting every one around them.  We can't allow it in the workplace.  Allowing angry outbursts by one employee at work is like inviting it from the entire team.  No walking into another room and hoping they will cool down.  The buck stops with you so it's time to figure out how to deal with it.  


First let's discuss what NOT to do.

• Don't say "Calm Down" - Do you really think the angry person had no idea they were upset and merely needed you to point it out to them to calm them down?  All this does is make them more angry.  More than likely you will get something like "Calm Down??!!! How could I possibly calm down??!!!" spoken in a very loud and passionate tone.  
• Don't raise your voice and get in their face to show them who is the boss.  This is not a testosterone match and it is certainly not the time to assert your title and role in the company.  Unless you plan to take it outside and duke it out - this approach is not going to help the situation at all.  
• Don't walk away from them.  This action will simply make them angrier, they will follow you, and yell even more.  It's fuel to the fire if you will.  

Now that we know what not to do, let's see what can be done.  The first consideration for you as manager is to understand a few things about emotional outbursts.  This includes all emotional outbursts - crying, yelling, anger, frustration, and even silence.  If you can take a step back and first understand that the outburst probably has less to do with what just resulted in the outbursts and more to do with lots of other stuff.  The outburst is usually a culmination of lots of "stuff" - from home and work.  I often hear people say things like "I can't believe they got so upset about that."  The reality is they probably didn't.  They are probably upset because of the flat tire they got on their way to work this morning, the argument they had with AAA because it took them to long to fix the flat, the $150 the repair shop charged them for a hole in that tire, and finally, because you had the audacity to ask them to get busy and quit talking.  Once you understand there is likely more to the emotion, it becomes easier to deal with it.  

That being said, here are some tips to dealing with the angry outburst.

• Remain calm.  I don't care what they say or how loud they get if you remain calm, they will eventually get there too. Keep your voice and demeanor calm.  If you were sitting, remain sitting.  If you were standing, sit down.  Make sure your tone and your body language demonstrates complete calm and self-control.  
• The middle of the angry outburst is not the time to deal with their emotional misconduct.  Save the discussion about how inappropriate their current behavior is until after they calm down.  
• Acknowledge the emotion without giving them permission to continue.  "I know it must be very upsetting to X.  Help me understand how we can fix this."  
• Suggest you both take a break and reconvene in 10 minutes.  This is different than walking out of the room.  This is more like "I think it might do us both good to take a break from this for a few minutes.  Let's come back in 30 minutes when we have both had a chance to think about it. This doesn't mean you let them leave and never discuss the incident again.  If you don't address this behavior at some point, you will see it again.
• In this day and age, it's important to consider your safety.  If at any point you do not feel safe, ask the person to leave immediately.  If they don't leave, you should.  
• Once the employee has calmed down, be willing to listen.  Let them talk out their frustration.  Listen sincerely.  Seek to reach a resolution.  And once they are calm, maybe even the next day, discuss how inappropriate their behavior was and how it will not be tolerated again.  You might offer employee assistance too because who knows what kinds of things they are trying to deal with that are spilling over into work.   

PERFORMANCE REVIEWS - ARE THEY A WASTE OF TIME?

 I get this question a lot - do we really need to do performance reviews?  Do we really need to go through this very lengthy process of giving feedback?  Does anyone really care about performance reviews?

The answer a resounding "it depends."


Performance reviews serve the purpose of providing a formal process in which to deliver feedback.  This is done for many reasons, a few of which follow:


1.  To force leaders to deliver feedback to employees.


2.  To provide a process so employees are aware of their performance expectations and limitations.


3.  To provide a process to determine merit increases (pay for performance).


4.  To document poor performance (terminations, lay-offs, litigation).


5.  To force clear communication at least once a year (or even twice).


That probably isn't an all-inclusive list but you get the idea.  Now, back to my response - "it depends."

If your leaders are very good at routinely giving feedback (both positive and negative), consistently sit down and have one-on-one conversations with their employees, clearly articulate their expectations and goals, and address and document poor performance in a timely and consistent manner, that would cover all the items listed above except the pay.  There are all sorts of different ways to provide monetary rewards to employees and much would depend on the size of your organization and the budget available.

The reality is most leaders are not necessarily good communicators.  Implementing a performance review process doesn't guarantee they will become good communicators but it does increase the odds.  Most people have been the recipient of the poorly delivered performance review and we all know that is no more effective than not having a review at all.  A performance review process simply increases the odds.  It will only be as effective as the reviewer.  It is your job as a leader to put the time, energy, and thought into the review that ensures it is effective.

Help! I Have To Deliver My First Performance Review

It is that time of year again - the end of the year and time for the dreaded performance review season.  Some organizations do an amazing job at providing very detailed instructions regarding the "discussion."  Other organizations . . . . not so much.  Unfortunately, it often ends up like many of the Dilbert cartoons.  For those of you that are new to the leadership role or just don't feel confident with those dreaded employee meetings - this article is for you.  

What is the Purpose of a Performance Review Anyway?

Performance Reviews are simply a documented feedback process.  It's an opportunity for you to have a formal conversation with an employee regarding their specific performance and opportunity for improvement.  To alleviate some of the fears you may be having just remember to have a heart for their success.  Regardless of whether the employee is a top performer, your worst nightmare, or your average "Steady Eddy," as their leader, your heart should be for their success.  Philosophically speaking, if your job is to lead others, if they fail then really you fail don't you? 

Clearly Articulate Your Expectations

One thing I learned long ago that re-framed my perspective is "others don't necessarily think like I think (thank goodness!) and they can't read my mind (probably another thank goodness!)."  The performance review meeting is an opportunity for you to clearly articulate your expectations of your employee. Leaders often have the mis-perception their employees know what they think of them and how they are doing.  Newsflash - they can't read your mind.  

Some performance reviews are easy so I'm guessing if you are reading this it's not because you are concerned about the easy ones.  The easy ones are the those with your top performers.  You have nothing but glowing remarks to give them and you wish you had ten more employees just like them.  Be thankful for those employees and make sure you still provide them with opportunities to improve so they don't become complacent.  I'll talk about development in a different post but be sure you pay attention to your top performers.  

Reviewing Your Low Performers
As for the low performers and difficult employees - let me reiterate,

"have a heart for their success."  

Clear, Concise, and Direct Feedback
They may not be performing well right now and your primary objective is to fix that.  This is where leadership becomes difficult.  If we all had nothing but great employees what fun would that be?  Your job with the difficult employee is to provide them very specific feedback regarding your expectations and the behaviors that need to change.  The word "behavior" is key here.  It is imperative you break down what is happening into very specific behaviors.  For example, "your unapproachable" is vague.  The fact that I don't make eye contact with others, don't say "good morning" when passing my colleagues in the hall, and make no contributions during meetings outlines specific behaviors that I can change.  Too many leaders are vague when delivering feedback and the employee doesn't know what they need to do differently.  Just because you have an idea in your head regarding what "unapproachable" means, maybe I don't have the same idea.  And more importantly maybe I never knew it was a job requirement.  I'll be writing some different posts regarding how to handle specific behaviors and even how to handle specific emotions with an employee during the review or during any other time but for now, let me just give you a few tips (the cliff notes version if you will).

Meeting Tips

1.  Have a heart for the employee's success.

2.  Focus on behaviors that need to change.  This is important.  It's not about changing them as an individual, it's about specific behaviors.

3.  Schedule the meeting in advance so the employee can prepare mentally and emotionally.

4.  Provide clear and concise feedback.  Don't beat around the bush, especially with the difficult employee.  They are not likely to read between the lines and they should never walk out of this meeting unsure of the feedback.

5.  Avoid using the sandwich technique (sandwiching the bad feedback between two good comments).  They know what you are doing.  

6.  Make sure you have this meeting in a private location.  In the world of cube land it seems nothing is confidential.  This is not a public meaning.  

7.  Regardless of the situation, treat the employee with respect at all times (even if they don't treat your the same way).  

8.  Anticipate the reaction and prepare accordingly.  If you know "Sally" has a tendency to blow up, anticipate that and prepare for how you will handle it.  

9.  Allow them time to react to the feedback.  This may take a few minutes or it may mean you need to follow up the next day.  

10.  Be professional at all times.  Take the high road here.  When "Robert" blames you for his inability to meet production requirements and/or threatens to go to your boss with his issues, that's when your leadership becomes even more important.  Remain calm, professional, and in control of the conversation.  Don't allow an employee to divert you away from the task at hand.  

11.  Thank them.  Regardless of the outcome of the meeting, thank them for their time, work effort, and their contribution to the team.  Thanking someone is just common courtesy and your employee's will appreciate it.  

If I could encourage leaders to learn more in any one single area it would be the area of communication.  Learn to communicate effectively.  Learn how to articulate your message.  Ask people for feedback regarding your communication.  Learn how to read non-verbal and verbal cues.  Mastering the art of effective communication will take you far in your leadership journey.